We come so far, and arrived exactly nowhere.

I’m not being poetic or hyperbolic here. I read a brief post on Thought Catalog over the weekend, where a person of privilege is being bullied for being privileged or at least she thinks so, but she also seems to lack a working knowledge of privilege. Lindy West posted about her on Twitter on Monday, along with many, many others. #PrivilegeWail may be my new favorite hashtag.

Dear Kate,

Do you mind if I call you Kate? Probably…

Dear Ms. Menendez,

I’m writing to offer a few suggestions on what you can do about being privileged because as you state “being privileged is not a choice, so stop hating me for it. What do you suggest I do about it?” But first a little about me, I’m a white, hetro, cis gendered woman. So you know I shit privilege rainbows. Really, the only area that is up for debate is my socioeconomic status, because my family is working class, or working poor, or blue collar whatever you prefer. Your piece made me wonder about your comprehension and critical thinking skills because your article reeks of classism, and it is wrapped in buzzwords you’ve heard.

What struck me most about your post is that it is based entirely on your perceptions of persecution, which seems to be in your mind. Congrats on having parents who forced you to let them pay for your education. I would like to know what this looked like, but mostly for my own amusement; I’m picturing a sobbing girl because her parents are aggressively writing checks in the bursar’s office…It is all very cartoon like and dramatic. However, I think we can just dissect a few passages from you piece to really discuss privilege. First, “Stop making me feel like I am less deserving. I didn’t ask to be born into this kind of circumstance and I’m tired of being judged for it.”

Less deserving is a key thing here, because you are not deserving…well not any more or less than anyone else. That is privilege, you’ve done nothing to deserve this, but you get it anyway. It is your belief that you are somehow entitled to these things that is privilege. The idea that things are completely out of your control. Well, they aren’t. Want the doorman to stop giving you looks when you pick up your packages? Stop ordering things made in sweatshops, after all you can afford it. Look at that, leveraging your privilege to help others. Buy second hand suits, then you can stop lying. Also, my suits look great on me because I have them tailored to, second hand or new. That’s just common sense, and one of the best pieces of career advice I ever received. But your assertion that people who wear secondhand clothing aren’t dressing for the job they want is classist.

However, you touch on something with this statement that we should look at in detail. Privilege is perception. You see people who wear second hand clothes as not dressing for the job they want so they will never rise in the their careers opposed to you who look the part. Well, that’s not true, but also many employers believe this too. So what happens is the child of privilege gets the promotion or the man, or the straight person, or the white person (insert your privilege here) because they look the part, are perceived as the part. Is that your fault? No, but pretending that you are the victim here is asinine. And not calling it out when you see it is your fault. [Aside, I once met a man who told me how he knew his job was given to an unqualified black woman. He had no proof this woman was less qualified than him, just the assertion that he being who he was (white, cis, hetero, man) was the deserving and her (the black woman) not. Keep that in mind when you speak of deserving and undeserving. How do you know who is and who is not?]

You conclude with this statement, and it made me want to spoon my eyes out: “But your situation doesn’t change my situation. I am responsible and fortunate for the resources I have. I’ll respect your background if you respect mine.” First, “responsible” in what way? Fiscally responsible for what you  were given, ok. But you aren’t responsible in the way that one is responsible for their actions here. Additionally,  you don’t respect other people’s background from your backhanded remarks about second and the subtext that your parents worked hard to give you things, and by extension mine didn’t. However, research dictates, low-income people work more, harder, and longer than their wealthier peers employing the metrics of hours worked, simultaneous jobs, and physical exertion. But also this statement implies that you can benefit from privilege without hurting anyone else, and you just can’t. That’s not how privilege works. We don’t live in a society where an individual benefits from their merits alone so you can’t pretend that we do. You benefit from your parents, but also from a societal structure that rewards privilege. You’re rewarded for having an education and getting into college and a master’s program, for your merits that you got from having access to educational resources. Some people don’t because our school system is paid for by property taxes. So Kate, do you vote to increase school funding on the ballot?

This probably seems odd to you and confusing because recognizing your own privilege is hard for people who like benefiting from it. Also, it seems as though you see luck as having a lot to do with your privilege, but let me tell you about luck. I have two sisters, both of whom are more intelligent, more attractive, more athletic, and more artistic than I am. I’m the first with a college degree, and so far the only with a masters. Demographically we’re exactly the same, M is slightly older, and J and I are the same age. We all come from the same low-income neighborhood, went to the same grade school and high school, and grew up in the same home with the same parents. My sisters work hard to survive. They are good at their jobs and anything they put themselves into so why did I get out of the working class grind? Luck. That is luck because I’m not better or superior to them in anyway. All the same, me rising out. My friend A grew up in the same neighborhood with a rougher upbringing. He finished college and has a great job. He also is a Hispanic man from the same low-income community. To say I was lucky when addressing our situations is wrong. He got lucky with two brothers, like my two sisters who are doing well, but not escaping the structure of or a racist and classist society and with a father in prison. My whiteness made it easier for me than it was for him. My father’s lack of a criminal record made it easier for me.

You are right, Kate. You can’t choose privilege, but you can choose what you do with it. Here are some thoughts:

• Stop buying things online. I like it too because it comes right to you, and I’m playing with the idea of becoming a hermit, but retail workers need you to go into the stores or they won’t have jobs. Those low-wage jobs that are keeping them and their families fed, and maybe, if someone gets real lucky paying for school.
• Treat your doorman like a person, including tips, particularly around the holidays. He performs a duty, and should be well compensated for it. And the most basic, I do hope you know his name if not this is your first priority.
• Make sure you’re friends, colleagues, and peers are able to reach opportunities they might not otherwise have. This means invite them to networking events you get to go to because you can afford an unpaid internship or they know you through your privileged connections. After all finding a job is all about who you know (second best career advice I received). Help fix up their resumes, and hand them off to people you get to meet because your privilege.
• Vote in favor of policies that will work to level the playing field or everyone: affirmative action, expanding voting rights, school levies, prisoner rights, healthcare, TANF, etc. We’re not going to end racism, classism, hetronormativity, sexism, etc, but we can improve the conditions to which we’re all subjected.
• STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM. You’re not. This is MRA light. You aren’t being persecuted for your privilege; even if every peer you have got together and decided to blacklist you for your privilege you’d still have the benefits of your privilege because they can’t take your education, class, race, or gender, which are valued within our society.
• Finally, on a personal aside, have you thought about not lying to your friends? I mean they are your friends so they probably already know where you live. If they do give you hell it might have more to do with you being a liar than your privilege.

Finally, I want to reassure you. Privilege ebbs and flows. You have some privilege and sometimes you lack it. That’s life. What you do with your privilege matters, and it matters all the more now that our society is favoring those in power. Those who lack privilege will need those with it to be on their side, as an ally. This is opening a whole can of worms because we have so many examples of being a bad ally, but there are good ones, too, somewhere. But rest assured having privilege doesn’t necessarily make you the big bad here. However, using your privilege to hurt others does, “being colorblind” or equating class to wealth does.

Sincerely,

Kari

Sleep

So I can't really tell you much about this weekend except that I'm still tired. I don't remember doing much either to explain how tired I am. Regardless, I give you Oh Land's "Renaissance Girls."

House GOP votes to cut SNAP

These people are the worst. I just don’t understand. The Huffington Post had a piece by Arthur Delaney and Michael McAuliff on the cuts. As I mentioned earlier in the week they want to take $40 billion over the next ten years starting in 2014. This bill requires beneficiaries to pass income and asset tests to prove poverty. It would allow drug tests because that is working so well with welfare. It would allow states to deny all able-bodied adults who don’t work or enroll in training for at least 20 hours per week. So let’s see what these ignorant asshats had to say:

• Eric Cantor: “This bill is designed to give people a hand when they need it most. Most people don’t choose to be on food stamps. Most people want a job. Most people want to go out and be productive so that they can earn a living, so that they can support a family, so that they can have hope for a more prosperous future. They want what we want.”
• Tim Huelskamp: “If you’re a healthy adult and don’t have someone relying on you to care for them, you ought to earn the benefits you receive. Look for work. Start job training to improve you skills or do community service. But you can no longer sit on your couch or ride a surfboard like Jason in California [man profiled by Fox News, so completely true you guys, stop implying Fox is propaganda network] and expect the federal taxpayers to feed you.”
• Frank Lucas (feel his desperation for this bill to pass): “I admit to you, that has been an unusual process. But it remains my goal to get a five-year bill [farm bill] enacted. I’m doing everything possible to make sure that happens this year.” Continuing on to say, “We have a responsibility to get this done, and quite simply, and I repeat, quite simply, it shouldn’t be this hard to pass a bill that ensures all of us in this economy has enough to eat. And that’s what a farm bill does.”
• Steve Southerland: “Work is not a penalty. Work is a blessing.”

And what are the Democrats saying?

• Marcia Fudge (O-H-IO): Today’s exercise is nothing more than a waste of out time and an insult to every American in need. The fact that we are considering this legislation makes me question whether the Republican leadership even wants a farm bill.” She added, this bill “guts nutrition for those most in need and says to the poor, to hungry children, to the disabled, seniors and our veterans, ‘You don’t matter, you are not worthy of our help.’ They deserve better.”

These bastards need to loss their jobs. Let’s see what we can cut from the federal budget if these people who voted in favor of this bill wouldn’t collect a salary next year:

In 2021: 233 Republicans in the House.

11 in Leadership collecting $193,400 and 1 Speaker $233,500.

221 members collecting $174,000

This comes out to $40,804,900 for the Republicans.

For the Democrats $35,052,200. So if everyone in the house didn’t collect a salary this year we’d have $75,857,100 to put toward SNAP. And that is before their staff.

With staff: $128,261,368 in 2012. But I’m not heartless, staffers should make a salary because they didn’t actually vote against the poor, but in DC the minimum wage is $8.25, and the living wage bill was vetoed by Mayor Gray as you remember, but there is a bill to raise it to $10.25 so we’ll pay them for a 35 hour work week at $10.25 an hour. I know what you’re thinking, but they work so many more hours that that, yeah, but this is the Wal-mart way.

This comes out to $10.25*35*52= $18,655. And multiply that by the 5,336 staffers listed in 2009 is $99,543,080, which leaves $28,718,288 from what was spent on them this year. All of this would be $104,575,388 is government salaries from the House of Representatives. Think about adding the Senate and the White House. Obviously, this isn’t going to be effective, because if we paid staffers minimum wage, even an increased minimum they’d be in poverty. Secondly, this doesn’t raise enough money. In reality I’m in favor of cutting DoD spending. I just find these numbers astonishing while they attempt to starve the poor.

Aside, thirteen people were killed last night in Chicago in a mass shooting. After my post yesterday, and how the nation forgot to grieve for DC, we’re not grieving for Chicago either. The Chicago PD isn’t releasing any information at this point about the shooting. They did release some information about the victims (pulled from the article linked to):

• The 3-year-old boy, shot in the ear, in critical condition at Mount Sinai;
• A 17-year-old girl, shot in the foot, condition stabilized at Holy Cross Hospital;
• A 15-year-old boy shot in the arm, stabilized at Holy Cross;
• A man, 27, shot in the leg and wrist, serious condition at Mount Sinai;
• A man, 24, shot twice in the stomach, serious condition at Mount Sinia;
• A man, 21, shot in the leg, serious condition at Mount Sinai;
• A man, 41, shot in the buttocks, serious condition at John H. Stroger Jr. Hospital;
• A woman, 33, shot in the shoulder, condition stabilized at Northwestern Memorial Hospital;
• A man, 31, shot in the buttocks, condition stabilized at Northwestern;
• A woman, 23, shot in the foot, condition stabilized at St. Anthony Hospital;
• A man, 37, shot in the leg, in good condition at Stroger;
• A man, 25, shot in the knee, in good condition at Northwestern;
• And a man, 33, who drove himself to Little Company of Mary Hospital in Evergreen Park with a gunshot wound to the leg and who was treated and released.

DC City Council fails its residents, and the nation fails DC residents

 In These Times had a piece by Cole Stangler on the epic failure of the DC City Council to override Mayor Gray’s veto. On Tuesday, Mayor Gray vetoed the Large Retailer Accountability Act (LRAA), which would have increased DC’s minimum wage from $8.25 to $12.50. The bill would require a higher minimum wage on city retailers with $1 billion or more in revenue and 75,000 square feet or more of space. The council voted to override the veto by failed with seven votes in favor of the override and six opposed, which was two votes shy of what is needed to override a mayor’s veto.

Of course, this was a sign to local leaders (and maybe national?) because separate legislation was introduced that raises DC’s minimum wage to $10.25, and then pegs it to cost-of-living increases. This bill had nine-cointroducers.

Of course, the defeat of LRAA is a victory for Wal-mart, and possibly indicates the last bit of Mayor Gray’s soul has been taken by corporations. It was a defeat for the United Food and Commercial Workers (UFCW) backed Respect-DC, but also really any resident in DC that works for low wages. I’m not going into too much detail about the bill or the legislative process in DC. There are a few more important things to note about the bill though. First, seventy-one percent of DC voters support the bill. Secondly, Wal-mart was terrified of this bill. They threatened not to open the stores they promised, threatened they wouldn’t be able to hire as many people, etc, and they mounted a serious campaign against the bill.

DC has record inequity, which shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who lives here. After all class stratification is happening everywhere, but in DC it is evident in every aspect. However, there is cause for some hope after all New York City just elected a “progressive” (enough) Mayor who backs wage reform. So this could be a sign that government leaders are going to have to sign on with living wages or risk losing elections. I never thought I’d write that line. Finally, backers of the bill say they are going to push for a living wage regardless of this defeat.

Because we’re talking about DC, I thought I’d bring up the shooting at Navy Yard on Monday morning. That was horrifying. As awful as it sounds, I’m getting used to this. There is always some mass tragedy happening now, and it is hard to generate enough anger anymore. That said, I also don’t have cable (one day I’ll share my thoughts on Comcast and their monopoly) so all I know is the local reaction to the shooting via local news sites and social media sites. Everyone I know in DC reacted the way people always do in tragedies, but then I read a piece on the shooting, which we’ll get to in a moment, and it occurred to me: my family and friends in Ohio, West Virginia, California who didn’t have ties to the community had nothing to say.

The post I read is entitled “This Town,” and it was posted by Cynthia from Brunch Bird. I wanted to post an excerpt from the piece that really resonated with a lot of people in DC:

“Unless you know us personally, the men and women who work and live here [DC] are considered faceless, pointless bureaucrats. They pay taxes and do not have a vote in Congress. Our work and our city is held up as a symbol of everything wrong with politics, government, media. Tourists from Real America come here and ask us for directions on Metro or to snap a photo of their family in front of a landmark and then they go home and talk about how terrible ‘Washington’ is. Nice to meet you, too.

“A New York Times writer just sold a lot of books by reducing us to a catchphrase: This Town. That he opened the book by making fun of a man’s funeral here spoke volumes, and foreshadowed the non-reaction to what happened yesterday.”

Cynthia then goes on to note, no one changed their profile pictures to ribbons on Monday. No one said the nation stands “D.C. Strong.” She has a point. The nation doesn’t seem so broken up that twelve people were murdered Monday in DC.

“When 12 people are massacred in This Town, our nation shrugs collectively and offers justifications for its apathy that all translate to: ‘There’s a viable reason we don’t care too much.’

“Beyond the Beltway, our fellow Americans can be forgiven for not knowing the geography of the city. For not knowing that everything here happens within a few miles. That the site of the massacre is about a block from a park where we all take our kids to splash in the fountain. What cannot be forgiven, if it persists, is the dehumanization of an entire town and the disinterest when 12 of its residents do not make it home at night.”

I first read this when my friend F posted it. Her husband works in that building. He’s fine, and she knew pretty quickly that he was. He was in another building when it happened. But I have to wonder where is the outrage? Where are those clamoring for gun control, not that I think we’ll get it, but where are they? Why are the lives in DC less? I have a few theories that go beyond Cynthia’s assert that the nation thinks of DC residents as faceless, nameless bureaucrats. That is true, but as mentioned in the beginning of this post, there are two DCs. There is the wealthy DC, and the murder of those citizens should spark outrage, and those were the victims Monday. Then there is the DC like Chicago; the DC in poverty and no one mourns on a national scale because those victims are seen as less. After all no one is mourning those in Chicago the way they mourn the victims of mass gun violence.

Steubinville is a MRA

I’m kidding, kind of. It appears that Steubenville is having some kind of persecution complex. Jezebel’s Katie J.M. Baker wrote about it earlier this week. Essentially, the residents of Steubenville feel like the media painted a picture of the town that was bias and untrue. They felt unjustly represented as football fanatics that backed the team and allow sexual violence to flourish.

I’m not going to go over all the details of Steubenville again. Two boys were found guilty, and the media decided they were the real victims because their lives were ruined with nothing said about the actually rape victim. Rumors swirled about the case and some were greatly exaggerated, but Ohio Attorney General, Mike Dewine was investigating adults involved with the case include the local football coaches.

I agree with Baker that the local detectives and the online community didn’t dig up anything the police couldn’t have. However, the police were kind of sitting on this case, and it wasn’t until national attention was focused that things started to move.

Baker spent time in Steubenville, and before she arrived she was critical of the community. Particularly the victim complex they have developed with a lack of acknowledgement of the role their community played by promoting to rape culture. She went on to interview students, parents, and faculty including some who couldn’t talk on the record because of the pending Grand Jury investigation. Baker notes that the livelihoods of business owners were threatened because of the poor publicity. Other communities have turned on those from Steubenville manifesting in children who were taunted as rapists during a Little League game. Baker points out the if you Google the victim’s name you’ll get the picture of her being drug from party to party along with the untrue accusation she was drugged and lured to the party. But this becomes a discussion about collateral damage.

During her interviews Baker was told that football players (and other athletes) don’t have to attend class. It was corroborated by staff who said players give enough to the school, but maybe not in the classroom. I have ask, if that is the case, what are these kids getting from their school? Steubenville isn’t exactly lush with employment opportunities, but I image having a substandard high school education isn’t going to help lift the community out of poverty, but I digress. A guidance counselor, John Lee Gillison claimed that Big Red (football team) are recognized because they are held to a higher standard, “Athletes, male and female, put a lot more time into school; maybe not academically, but they do a lot. Yeah, they’re privileged. But they’ve earned it.”

I hated this philosophy while I was in school. It isn't just athletes. I can't tell you how much my sister and I were able to get away with because we were in the top five percent of our class.

Baker asserts that the towns people who tried to set the record straight about their perceived willingness to overlook the rape were dubbed rape apologists, then they were met with death threats. Nicole Lamantia, 29 year old Steubenville resident said, “We supported and still support Jane Doe 100%. But the focus shifted when we watched helplessly as the media ripped innocent people apart we’d known since we were babies.” Lamanita’s husband is a Big Red coach, and as a result Lamantia’s children were threatened, “That’s when this became less about Jane Doe and more about an entire town being destroyed for what two people did. That’s when Jane Doe’s wellbeing took a backseat.”

Ok, so once the threats were directed at her children the priorities changed. I get that, but what about a culture that provides special treatment for boys who commit sexual assault? Or tells children they are exempt from the rules that govern society because they are special? After all as the counselor says, they've earned it. What about the outing of Jane Doe? The sharing of her contact information? The death threats she received, which got so bad two people were arrested. Do I think Lamanita was wronged? Yes, of course, but her lack of acknowledgement of how Steubenville enabled this is reprehensible. That is the problem by the way. The idea you've known someone forever so they can't possibly be guilty of anything is idiocy because every rapist and murderer was born, and someone somewhere loved them once.

It should be noted that a KYAnonymous declared war on Steubenville because of the case. He released videos that showed how some Steubenville players and former players were reacting to the case, which reflected rape culture and a complete disrespect for women. All of the factual information implied (and still implies) that more people than the two boys had knowledge of the crime and possibly helped cover it up. Also, research suggests most people would find it difficult to intervene in a sexual assault.

Even with all the misinformation that came out of the case, and the clear evidence that Steubenville has a rape culture problem (and I’d argue a women problem), and they don’t want to  talk about those issues, instead they want to focus on how they were wronged. Now, I didn’t interview any of them. I have read any transcripts. I’m sure I’d have more empathy if I did, but this just rubs me the wrong way. This is false victimhood, and it is an attempt to redirect the conversation away from real victims. Also, this is a manifestation of privilege because only someone who feels like they deserve whatever has been perceived to be taken from them would express themselves in this way.

So the media treated the town badly, and think of the boys whose futures are now hanging in the balance. These are two topics the residents of Steubenville wanted to discuss. Yes, the media may have been unfair in some cases, but major media outlets lamented about the boys’ futures, not Jane Doe’s. One of the boys (Cody Saltsman) who was there the night of the party, but not tried for rape or exploitation of the minor. I’m not indicating he should have been, just that he wasn’t and wasn’t found guilty. He is legally innocent. However, he did take to Twitter to write some crass things, which may also be why universities are reluctant to give him a change. Saltzman’s family sued one of the local detectives who drove the story into the national spotlight. The case was dismissed with prejudice.

However, the locals believe Saltzman learned his less and is the “kindest boy you’ll ever meet.” I’m not sure he has. And I’m not sure he has because a UN study came out that links entitlement and perceptions of women to rape, so rape culture to rape. And telling the boy he’s a victim in all this is probably reinforcing those beliefs not countering them. According to counselor Gillison, the high school administration spent a good portion of the past year talking about sexual assault and bystander intervention, but they are more concerned with helping the community move on. The sentiment is that a handful of kids acted poorly, but the majority of students have been treated unfairly. 

Please, tell me about being treated unfairly? Would that include the assumption of false representation because bitches be lyin'? Are these poor students experiencing the school to prison pipeline? Perhaps violence that the city officials are doing nothing about is preventing them from attending school or perhaps the city is closing schools of people of color there? Is that the unfairness everyone is taking about? I bet kids in Chicago feel like they are being misrepresented too, but no one cares.

However, what about Jane Doe? Brendon Sadler, a 22 year old friend of the victim’s family said the victim deserves privacy, and the community needs to let it go. “’She’s ‘overwhelmed,’’ said Sadler, ‘because people won’t let it go. She’s appreciative, but she wants her life to go back to normal.’”

So why did I make the assertion that the Steubenville residents are “white men”? Because this is some MRA bullshit. There are a faction of them that are Steubenville truthers. They spend all their time tweeting about the case and insulting anyone they feel is unfairly targeting Steubenville. Not on the victim's side though because see above bitches be lyin'. The argument can be made that Steubenville changed the discussion about sexual assault because it has changed a lot of opinions about consent, but one has to wonder if any minds were changed in this town.

However, adults in Steubenville are tired of thinking about the victim because obviously they are the victims. See above with the MRA thing. One parents said, “Yes, those two boys crossed the line. But why did KYAnonymous have to torture out town? Why were people sending death threats on Christmas Eve, ruining Christmas for everyone?”

I’m sorry, Christmas sucked. But I’m struck by the language, “crossed the line.” Where exactly did they cross the line? When they moved the girl from party to party? When they raped her? When they photographed her? What line are we talking about so we can make sure these poor persecuted boys don’t cross any other lines. OMG maybe they used chemical weapons, because that is a fictional line that means nothing people trot out when they want to do whatever they want.

Obviously, I’m against death threats. I don’t think the entire town should be punished, but there are ramifications to actions and in action. At the end of the day that is what this is about. The town maybe unfairly targeted, but a child was sexually abused and people looked the other way, they made up excuses, they downplayed the gravity of the situation, they threatened the victim, and they delayed the proceedings. Sorry, if that wasn’t you, but to use an old saying “If you’re not part of the solution then you’re part of the problem.”

TEACH YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS NOT TO RAPE AND VICTIM BLAME. STOP CRYING ABOUT HOW YOU”RE BEING PERSECUTED. Someone want to write about the parallels between this and victim blaming? I guess you shouldn’t have appeared like you had unwavering support for two rapists, maybe then the media wouldn’t have blamed you. After all, didn’t people take the stand, and call Jane Doe a drunk slut who put herself in this situation? Yeah, sucks doesn't?

Baker’s post concludes like this:

“Big Red creamed Detroit Central Collegiate 48-6. After the first quarter, the coach took some of the better players out so the younger kids could have a go. Everyone who stuck out the less than gripping game clapped heartily for Detroit when the team left the field.

“’The mother of one of the football player later asked me, ‘If were such terrible, football-obsessed people, why would we have clapped?’”

The sentiment here is horrifying, and this sentiment, the way this is a demonstration of how they are good people is baffling. Do I think everyone is Steubenville are bad people no, but this woman’s ability to completely disassociate and thing clapping after a football game demonstrates empathy is ridiculous.