I'm not sure I can even be angry anymore. I'm just sad and tired. I'm not sure what we do now. The legal system is going to continue to fail the most vulnerable. So what then? What is the game plan because I'm out of ideas. Tonight my friends joked about being murdered by the police because that seems like an inevitable fate. One called himself a "thug" and put up his hood, and then said, better not wear this outside, police might shoot me.
I don't know what it is like to live in that kind of fear of the state. But it scares me. It scares me that this is what we've become. The people who believe it is ok to murder black people, because black women are being killed too, are not…I don't know how to finish this sentence. Maybe because I'm tired and can't sleep but maybe because there is no way for me to finish that sentence. The white men who are murdering black people are part of my race, and I can't distance myself from them. Not only are they part of my race, but they are probably working class, right? I mean the police have been a staple of Irish employment. I see the people running to defend Wilson on my Facebook feed, and some of them are distant cousins, but there it sits. They pull up these joke arguments about how white people have been killed by the police too, as if it is the same. It isn't, black men are disproportionately murdered by the police. But they are going to fight that it isn't just black people instead of seeing the militarization of the police as the problem, classism as the problem…I'm not holding out for miracles, my racist cousin is never going to recognize racial oppression and the connects to the before mentioned problems. But at least realize this isn't for the greater good, these sons didn't have to die, this is to preserve the status quo, to reinforce the inconsequence of blackness, to keep people in their place. This is terrorism. This is how genocide begins. As if we're not already seeing it with the systematic imprisonment of black men.
A good friend of mine told me a few months back, "You're not really white." Or something like that. I immediately corrected her. I am white. I didn't launch into it, but I am white, and I benefit from my whiteness. I have had opportunities because of luck, but without my whiteness I wouldn't be so lucky. I wrestle with class and gender performance everyday. My friend thought I meant it the way she means when someone tells her she's not really black because she is some kind of exception, which is intended to be a compliment, but totally racist.
These were Eric Garner's last words. Recorded by a man being indicted while the murderer is not.
Good Morning Freedom
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Since I've been working on taking photos more than drawing, I've started a
new blog. I'll continue to update this one - about as much as I already do
- but...
16 years ago
