Tuesday, December 16, 2014

In which I out myself as a communist and hold my tongue about rape



It is funny, I’ve always been firmly in the I’m not a communist camp while pushing for the redistribution of wealth. I’ve been stressing out all month and last month. Things are just crazy and hectic, but on Saturday night I took the afternoon off from all the stuff I had to do and went to a friend’s holiday party. I hate these kinds of things. I never know what to do, and there are always people there I don’t know and don’t know what to say to them. Instead, I stuck near the people I came with. And at some point my friends were talking about poverty and work.

Well, when you play my song. The solution offered had a lot of problems, mostly being rooted in the assumption that unemployed people could and should work. However, it also called for the government to supply jobs, which didn’t go over well. In fact my friend’s husband jokingly called her a socialist. But overall, I don’t interject too much with friends in settings like this. They aren’t particularly interested in the numbers or facts about poverty. I did note that most people on welfare now have barriers to employment, which my friend was like, “we’ll get them a social worker!” Well, that might help, but that isn’t going to solve the problem of a sick dependent or an abusive partner. However, when asked what I was thinking, I said I’m a communist and think we should start by redistributing wealth, and then see where we are. My friend was essentially advocating for a program similar to FDR’s Civilian Conservation Corps, which had flaws, but did employ a lot of men through the Great Depression, but on a smaller scale, specifically, a Baltimore size scale. Of course, we didn’t address the extrapolated consequences from a program like this, which is essentially round up unemployed people of color for manual service work that theoretically everyone benefits from, but most likely will benefit the wealthy. Or we can just do what several researchers have said, which is just cut a check instead of welfare to work programs which would save the most money.

The other strange conversation we found ourselves having was with our hostess’ family, which made things awkward. My friend brought up Bill Cosby and the Virginia rape scandal/Rolling Stone. Things were fine, and then someone begins a statement that can’t end well, “I don’t want to blame anyone, but what do you think a man wants at 10pm?” Pizza? Because that’s usually what I want at 10pm. See, saying the second part of this statement nullifies the first. You are putting the responsibility of the rape on the woman who experienced it because what do you expect. Well, I expect going to someone’s house at 10pm very little, but definitely I expect not to be drugged and raped. Just me? My friend did well driving this conversation back to the non-shamey/balmey side of things. This sort of argument, the women you need to think that every man you meet is a rapist or you’ll be raped and deserved it, makes women responsible for the actions of their rapists. Additionally, it means all women have to treat all men like rapists, when most men aren’t. Start the woe is me, it isn’t fair women treat me like a rapist swan song from men. Well, you don’t get to have it both ways, either rapists are responsible for their actions, the end or women are and we have to treat everyone like a rapist. I did get in one comment that you should always be able to withdraw consent, so even if you knew what he wanted at that hour, around the time he slipped something in your drink you lost your ability to withdraw consent. There was also a sub-discussion on who gets believed and who doesn’t, which was particularly troubling. It was very reminiscent of some women can’t be raped because she is unlikeable/her body is property of the public because she is famous/etc. It was awful.

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