Today is Cari’s
birthday, and she’s pretty rad. I say all this knowing full well, she didn’t
scream let them eat cake at her juniors when there was in fact cake present.
Missed opportunities. I know, now you need proof of Cari’s awesomeness, well
she started this blog. She also reads like a…fool isn’t the right word, but you
know what I mean. She’s an all-around great person and friend. I miss your face
darling.
Caitlyn Jenner is a
brave woman, and I can’t image the strength it takes to come out like this. She
didn’t have much of a choice, but to do it in the most public way possible
given the stories swirling about her. She is also a conventionally beautiful
woman. I didn’t give much thought to this until a conservative friend of mine
noted, Jenner is prettier than she is and she’s been a woman her whole life. It
was a joke and not meant to be hurtful or anything. In fact knowing this friend
like I do, it was more self-deprecating than anything else. But it made me
think of two things: 1. How the public is taking Caitlyn Jenner’s transition,
and 2. Womanhood and the conventionally feminine.
First, you can
present your gender identity however you’d like. I’m not trying to give anyone permission
or restrictions here. That said, our famous Transwomen in the spotlight are
overwhelmingly attractive women. Any not just attractive, but conventionally
attractive. Jenner’s cover is in a vintage swimsuit and clothing, which puts me
in mind of a pin-up shoot. Obviously, this isn’t an easy transition for her
(her family or anyone else transitioning), but it might have gone very
differently if she hadn’t embraced conventional femininity. The public is
taking to it. We’ve already schooled the media on how to address Caitlyn after
the Chelsea Manning debacle. Additionally, Laverne Cox is practically a
household name. While, I’m still very apprehensive about how Trans and bisexual
characters are portrayed on television, we’re light-years away from anyone not
conforming to an assigned gender and assumed sexual identity as a villain—One day
I’ll collect all my thoughts on Outlander
and write about it or maybe just Jamie’s forearms.
This is one of those
things I struggle with. I’m feminine identifying and wear a lot of skirts because
I’m lazy and dresses are one item of clothing compared to pants and a shirt. It
truly saves time. I don’t have to try and match things, which because I lack
other traditionally feminine characteristics can be quite the time suck. A
friend and I recently discussed how I’m into things that are really traditionally
feminine like I’m learning to sew and I crochet, but I have no sense of style
or taste, and I might starve to death if I couldn’t order takeout, and I’d
rather lose a limb than talk about my feelings. So I struggle with the narrative
that Caitlyn Jenner is beautiful as if that is all there is to being a woman.
Well, passing as a woman means being pretty and/or surgery. But that isn’t all
being a woman is. All the stories I keep seeing are talking about transition as
if it is just surgery to look more like a woman and then wearing “women’s
clothing” which by the way is very feminine clothing.
Honestly, I have no
idea what makes you a woman or not. But it is more than physical presentation,
and I hope someone covers that aspect of transitioning too. I also wonder if
Caitlyn Jenner will undergo some of the same struggles other Transwomen and all
women have? I mean Caitlyn is transitioning as a wealthy white woman. She won’t
have to struggle to afford hormone treatments or worry about employment. She
will also by default already hold a lot of power in social situations that many
women don’t. For a lot of women gender becomes overwhelmingly clear when you’re
told you can’t do something because of your gender or it prevents something. For
example, I knew a girl in grade school who was told she couldn’t play football
anymore at recess with the boys because she might get hurt…they were playing
touch football. *side eye* The subtext, girls don’t do that. I often wonder
what those aspects of transitioning feels like, the giving up of power. Or is
it completely overshadowed by other issues such as acceptance and the
discrimination Trans people face? And I understand if it is, but at some point,
someone who was always regarded as a white man, and now identifies as a white
woman must have had a situation where she thought, “WTF is this?” in regards to
an everyday situation. That first cat call, that first question, shouldn’t you
check with your husband, father, brother, random stranger on the street with a
penis? The first time that male privilege doesn't exist. Then again, for Transwomen who don’t "pass" might
always follow the stares and comments about not passing.
I wish all the best
to Caitlyn and her family. I hope everyone continues to embrace individuals as
they are instead of how we’d like them to be for easier classification. But I
also hope for a more nuanced conversation around gender and identity that doesn’t
just revolve around appearance.
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