The Root of White Resentment? Probably Not, But You Have to Start Somewhere

A friend of mine had a link this this New York Times article on her facebook page. It struck me as odd because of the title of the opinion piece, "The Root of White Anxiety," by Ross Douthat. It struck me for a couple reasons: 1. the plight of white people doesn't sound like something my friend is overly concerned with unless we are talking poor people, which is not alluded to in this title, and 2. the article begins by talking about Pat Buchanan and Harvard.

This is an interesting piece that talks about the dichotomy of elitism and bigotry, the American elite verses white Christians, to use Douthat's language. But for the sake of argument let's hear the argument about the discrimination of white Christians: liberal policies are giving too much to minority groups for discriminatory practices that happened to far back to render legitimate now. My interpretation of complaints of this vein is very simple people fear change. And while some are bigots and full of hate, I like to think that most merely worry exclusively about themselves and where they and theirs fall into a new world view. So less, white people vs. black people and more Molly Member (white, Christian, middle class) and family vs. change in world view that shifts conventional standards such as white people go to college to disenfranchised groups having access to college as well. A more individualist world view to a multicultural one. Not legitimate, but less large scale hate.

Regardless, the article argues that white people are nervous and just maybe there is some legitimacy to their concerns. Not that President Obama is a racist, but to the white poor/middle class young people may be at a disadvantage when being accepted to college. A study was put out a year ago entitled, No Longer Separate, Not Yet Equal: Race and Class in Elite College Admission and Campus Life, by Thomas J. Espenshade & Alexandria Walton Radford from Princeton. The study finds that the admissions process favors potential students who would diversify the study body, e.i. ethnically diversify. Douthat asserts like Russell K. Niele that the most disadvantaged by this process is rural/working class white persons. Douthat connects this group with the "Real America" the Tea Party and Sarah Palin supporters. Douthat suggest that the "cultural divide" in America has been in the works for years, but universities can alleviate some of the gap through admissions.

I agree...but let's talk for a moment about white anxiety. I don't believe admitting more lower class white people will rectify the problems. I think it will help, but a cultural shift away from the individual might help too. Michael Kimmel wrote a book entitled Guyland, which I wrote about before, he provides another hypothesis: white privilege is the root of these anxieties and without removing this perception of specific resources belonging to an individual for no other reason than a perceived birthrate none of this will change in any lasting way. After all there are only X number of spots in Ivy League schools. But everyone having a better understanding of this situation and entitlement would assist in rectifying the problem. Perhaps a look at standardized tests would as well, after all they are racially, socioeconomically, and sexually biased. Maybe, we should go in another direction?

An Emasculating Truth

I'm excited about this film!  I've been pretty interested in male development, from Guyland to God Save the Males.  This appears to be an honest look at what is like for a male to come to terms with what it means to be a man in U.S. society.  Interestingly a friend and I were talking about this last week.  

Orgasms, They're Missing from Sex

Apparently, women who participate in casual sex have few orgasms than their male partners. The research claims that women in relationships orgasm 80% as often as their partner, but women who "hook-up" come half as often, and for first time "hook-ups" a third. I refer my readers to a previous post, Sometimes I just like talking about sex.

I read about this on Jezebel.com, "Is the 'Orgasm Gap' Code for 'Dudes are Lazy'?" I think this is an interesting argument after all a woman's orgasm comes second in our culture. I argue this in the other post. I find the comments form the men interviewed particularly frustrating. The article, "The Orgasm Gap" by Hannah Seligson, states that women perform oral sex on their partner at a rate of 4 to 1 compared to men, and this is regardless of relationship status. In her article, Seligson references Micheal Kimmel (author of Guyland reviewed on this blog!), "Men don’t pull their weight on either front because no one makes them."

I believe that men are becoming more concerned on a whole with women's pleasure, but we just aren't there yet. Personally, for me good sex means good for both partners.

So the moral of this story is that men blow...or actually men don't blow, and that is the problem.

40 Rules to live by for Men.

Thank you Jezebel.com for what you rightly called a gem. Men’s Health gave us this article called 40 Unwritten Rules to Live By. Some are arguably valid enough: don’t bluff too many times when playing cards with friends, and good health insurance is better than good health. Four truly amazing rules caught my eye.

The very first one about not asking a woman to have sex with you by asking her to have sex with you…do we really have to go over this? I recently read the book Guyland (see an earlier entry), which covered this very topic. (This also might be why I lie to men in bars.) This rule implies lying to women is ok, it implies women don’t like sex, it implies you can’t be upfront with your partner or have an equal honest relationship. I won’t go on…

Rule 13: Telling a woman she is a great person implies you are going to break up with her. I am torn on this. I’m torn because I believe the men reading this magazine are foolish enough to think telling someone how wonderful they are is a good way to break up. This is the equivalent to “it’s not you it’s me.” You know the thing you say that neither you are the person listening to you believes even hough many times it is. In fact I’d be inclined to think they are usually put together. I however disagree because I am going to give men the benefit of the doubt because I have broken up with people I thought were great people. Frankly, being a great/good person doesn’t mean you are a great partner.

Rule 14: Don’t bring lunch to work…yeah that’s a rule. I got nothing. Do men not eat at work or during the day? Don’t you get tired of eating from the same places all the time? This to me represents the list on a whole. Pointless.

Finally the last one I found to be so far off the mark: number 23. This one says to never make genders stereotypes. I couldn’t agree more except the rule ends with even if god would back you up. We can ignore the reference to god, but should we ignore the idea that some gender stereotypes are legitimate and the only reason not to mention them is because…what? Of backlash? Because they are so true you don’t need to mention them?

Book Review: Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men By: Michael Kimmel

Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men By: Michael Kimmel

Brilliant, and quite possibly the scariest thing I have ever read. That is saying a lot; I read books my friends describe as graphic, and scary about rape, sex trafficking, and general violence against women. I read books and magazines on the stratification of the classes and how this generation will be worse off than any previous one.

I read sections out loud to my roommate when she declared, “I don’t want anything to do with men.” This book talks about the “Guy Code” which is the code my generation of males is supposedly living by, and it isn’t good. The “bros before hos” and code of silence encourages abuse of peers, misogyny, and a lack of responsibility that hasn’t been seen before.

Kimmel discusses the long-term effects of this culture on “guys” when they become men, and the effects on women. I personally enjoyed where Kimmel described feminism as including the belief: “that guys can become men.” Kimmel discusses all the drawbacks of my generation including “hook up culture” and the excessive drinking which has become the norm. He notes the double standards between men and women in these areas along with several others. And he touches, briefly, on the subject of women who try to be like men or in with the boys club. This is one of my favorite feminist topics of the time.

I absolutely loved this book, and think it is a must read for anyone: raising boys, befriending them, dating them, or interacting with them at anytime.