So here’s the
thing, I support your right to live however you want. I mean I don’t care as
long as what you’re doing doesn’t harm anyone else. See and there is the rub. I
have friends who are deeply concerned that I’m judging them, particularly friends
with babies. This is always news to me, because while I like playing with your
babies, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about them. I mean occasionally, I’ll
think, “Jesus, if I had a girl and had to bring her up in this rape culture
like C does” or “L’s baby boy is going to have to navigate these unreasonable
gender standards and perform to them.” I don’t care if you want to stay home,
if you can afford it more power to you. Hell, if I could I would do nothing but
read, craft, and bitch about politics FOREVER. So you want to spend time with your shiny baby, that’s
cool.
But back to that
rub, I take issue with people who harm others, and that includes the advocating
of bigoted legislation. I can’t tell you you’re lifestyle is ok if it advocates
for limiting the rights of others so like reproductive choice, medical access,
welfare, housing, SNAP, marriage equality, employment equality, and on and on
and on.
I say all of this
because the Duggars. I can’t with these people. For real. I almost made it
through one whole episode! My sister M loves the show. I don’t know how or why.
But outside of that one episode where the family got whacky and the boys and
girls did each others' chores because what could be zanier than girls doing
boy work and boys in the kitchen. *head desk* The show seemed harmless, well it
pushed some seriously conservative propaganda, but I wouldn’t want my nephew to
have the Kardashians or the Duggars as role models. The Kardashians are uber-capitalists
(which reinforces racism, classism, and sexism), and the Duggars are misogynists
and zealots. Let’s call it a draw. My real exposure to this family like most
celebrities is through politics. See the Duggars stump for anti-choice, antigay,
anti-the American way candidates, just kidding on that last one. What else do I
know? I know the women in this family spend more time talking to tabloids about
their sex lives than the Kardashians. I know they are part of a conservative
Christian movement that teaches women have no right to refuse sex to their
husbands, and their goal is to out populate liberals and atheists (and probably
all other groups that aren’t them).
So let me be clear, almost if not everything this family stands for I am against:
- Antigay, no thanks
- Anti-choice, you can have my rights when you pry them from my cold dead hands
- A woman’s worth is purity, *laughing/gasping for air* Um, no
- Women should be submissive, only if they want to be and preferably with a working contract, and tell me what to do, see what happens
- Men have to perform to rigid masculinity standards, nope, nope, nope.
- Waiting for marriage, not my thing, but I have poor impulse control, whatever works for you and your partner, but see there has to be some kind of discussion with your partner so no one is doing anything they are uncomfortable with and expectations are laid out
- Women should be constantly pregnant to populate God’s Army, I’m an atheist, but when I believed in God it was the turn the other cheek and love your neighbor one, God doesn’t need an Army he had all the superpowers
- I won’t even go near the exclusionary practices of these sorts of Christian cults, I can’t imagine there are many men of color being vetted to marry (all boyfriends/potential husbands are vetted by dad) a Duggars’ girl and absolutely no one outside their own faith.
These are values I
would want children I care about far away from. I wouldn’t let them watch this
show; I’d read them Harry Potter, which is scientifically proven to increase
empathy among readers. I would talk about boundaries and how they don’t have to
do anything they are uncomfortable with regardless of what adults may think.
And from a young age I would try to explain what social constructs are and how
they only have meaning because we give them meaning just like scary monsters.
The Duggars are so dangerous because they seem harmless, right? They look like
a large happy family with values about faith and love, as long as you conform
to the molds they believe are worthy. It is the subtext; those things not
actually said, but implied that are dangerous. I’m kind of against anything
that teaches children there is an us and a them.
