Cleveland that I love

So there are these t-shirts in Cleveland with a variety of graphics reading “Cleveland that I love.” The t-shirts have hit the fan through the playoffs. Because of course. I’m not throwing stones either, because I bought two Cleveland shirts since this began (from a Cleveland based company of course). Now, I love the Cavs and basketball, but I also love Cleveland. However, I don’t know if the Cleveland that I love is the Cleveland everyone is talking about.

I grew up in Slavic Village, which is now often called South Broadway on maps. But it will always be Slavic Village to us. Old, closed, formerly owned businesses with Slavic and Polish names and boarded up windows. Stella Walsh rec center, where we weren’t allowed to go because of gang violence. If you don’t know who Stella Walsh is, Google her, she is worth knowing. So imagine my glee that Cleveland is in the national news, sure it is for basketball, but hey people are looking our way and while we’ll probably fuck this up, because that is the Cleveland way, we might win.

[Image is from the Cleveland Plain Dealer] At the same time, the Cleveland Plain Dealer is running a series on Slavic Village, “Hard time in Cleveland” which is about a Blaine Murphy being sentenced to serve 18 months of his prison term in Slavic Village, ground zero of the foreclosure crisis. Yeah, this guy who screwed people out of their homes and money in Slavic Village now has to live there. Justice, right? Wait, a minute, you mean the neighborhood I came up in, the one my mom still lives in is the equivalent to prison. Bitch, please.

I would drive either via 77N or Jennings to the Catholic Worker to volunteer, and during rush hour, I’d drive across the Harvard-Denison Bridge and up Pearl. All to get to Ohio City where you can get three meals, a shower, laundry, and somewhere to sit out of the elements till 9pm most nights. We’ve never had the homeless in Slavic Village, not the way you have them downtown. We have squatters. We also have 1,200 vacant homes most of which are waiting to be demolished. Boarded up doors have red and blue notices painted on them giving warning or notice, drugs were here and no copper. Blaine Murphy and men like him bled Slavic Village and I’m sure many neighborhoods like ours.

There are kids I grew up with who are trying to save the neighborhood, and I don’t know how to tell them they are going to fail or ruin it. I want to support them, but I think, guys, a median down Fleet? How are the police (all three of them) going to chase thieves (mostly kids)? A man was shot over copper at the head of my street across from their family business. Copper. I think, you’re encouraging the city to fine old people who can’t paint their houses? My dad’s house is one of those houses now, painted this ugly tan color. We’re going to have a neighborhood of poor tan houses. Pick your battles kids. Paint and some construction isn’t going to save you.

A championship isn’t going to save us either. Maybe nothing can. We’re going to have to ride this one to the last stop and see what is there. These boys I grew up with are trying to gentrify our neighborhood in the good way. I really don’t think they have malicious intentions. They see tons of vacants and think, let’s get people in here, let’s get businesses going again. But it feels short sighted. It feels like privilege people coming to save us the best way they know how, but that’s not going to work. Because what happens when property taxes go up? What about the poor and working poor that have called this place their home since the 70s who can’t afford higher taxes in a neighborhood with the lowest property tax rate and the some of the worst schools? How are you going to address the gangs? What family is going to move into a neighborhood with three officers to patrol it? You need buy in, and from what I’ve heard no one is buying it. Change like what we need can’t be driven by people who drive home to the suburbs at night. You call Slavic Village home, and it is your home, but you don’t live it. Neither do I. We can’t prescribe what they need. You can facilitate it. 

This is why we can’t have nice things

I’m so mad right now. I was mad when the Cavs posted the video below. I was mad when I read the apology for making a joke out of intimate partner violence, and I’m mad that I got up this morning to a facebook timeline with “Cavs player” and “domestic violence” in the headlines.

Last week over drinks with a friend, I argues that sports while having violent aspects should be viewed in a larger context. Specifically, football players are on the receiving end of so much trauma should be looked at more closely to see what the impacts are over time. However, when you put this video made by PR people in this context that argument gets kind of blow to hell. Violence against women is just part of the culture of masculinity, and sports culture is also part of it.

There are a lot of problems with professional sports beginning with it is kind of a minstrel show. But because this is one of the few ways low-income Black men can escape poverty, I am usually good for a pass. Until we have another option, this is all we have. I have a friend who argues that these young men should focus on school instead of sports, which is all fine and good if all education was equal. It isn’t so even if these boys were straight A students who worked hard they education would still be valued less than a kid from a middle-class or upper class white neighborhood. Them’s the breaks.

By the same token violence and sports is more complicated than just people who play sports buy into a system and culture of violence and exceptionalism. We can dissect the relationship between violence and economic insecurity, or how and why poverty impacts children including making them more prone to and less reactive to violence. Or we can talk about how none of this is happening in a vacuum.

By that I mean, rape culture, sports, violence, capitalism, racism, etc. all feed off of and reinforce each other. At first I wrote this out, but I think it might be easier with pictures:

The arrows are misleading because it can work in reverse and there should/could be more text boxes. But for the purpose of this discussion. All of these concepts act on one other, changing them, and reinforcing them.

Look, Perkins isn’t getting charged because no one is making a complaint. He was picked up based on a call the police received, but that is as far as it is going to go. But let me be clear, “When you play Cleveland you play the whole city” can act to silence. I’m “all in” for Cleveland. I bought the “nothing is given” language. But we’re cutting from the same cloth here, if nothing is given then passes on IPV insensitivity aren’t given either. This is going to suck man, if we break the curse only to do it in the shadow of a club poking fun at intimate partner violence and allegations being made against players.

Torn here

So I wasn’t going to write anything because well, I’m white and there are other voices we should all be listening to and reading. But then I’m getting angrier and angrier as time passes. I went to bed last night reading my progressive white friends trying to ignore races impact on all of this, and then I woke up to Mike Brown’s father delivering food in Ferguson for Thanksgiving. I’m having some trouble reconciling those two things. But we will come back to the first. Then the National Bar Association is calling on the Department of Justice to do something because they do not understand how the Grand Jury could reach this conclusion given the evidence. I’m not holding my breath on this one.

Let me come back to this removal of race. You can’t do it. The end. See yes, the militarization of the police is a problem. It was a problem at Occupy. It was a problem before that too, and the images of the police in Ferguson are ridiculous. But Mike Brown was murdered by Darren Wilson for being a black man (boy really), and Tamir Rice was murdered for being a black boy by the Cleveland police. Claiming it doesn’t matter because the real problem is the militarization of the police is willful ignorance and the discounting of the black lived experience. It is unacceptable. I expect this from conservatives claiming Wilson was right, but if you’re on our side, then get with it friends. The US condones and defends the right of the police (and anyone else) to kill black men. This is the underlying problem. Racial oppression was one of the ideas on which our justice system was built. The militarization of the police is one consequence of that idea. The criminal justice system doesn’t work for the oppressed it works to keep the status quo. Keep those with power safe from those without it. I mean come on; most of our laws are rooted in property law, even our rape laws. The system isn’t broken; this is how it was designed to work.

Now for the protesting, I’m not opposed to taking to the streets, but I’m tired. I’m tired of the marches in support of rape survivors and murdered children and against war and capitalism run amok. Our society is built on the patriarchy and patriarchy reinforces classism, sexism, and racism. We’re not going to fix this by protesting for a few days or hours. I think we need a full scale revolt. I know that sounds extreme, and I’m not one for advocating violence, but I don’t know what other options are left. But we will get nowhere by reforming one aspect of the justice system. We will get nowhere is the police turn their tanks back over to the military and continue to shoot children. We won’t get very far if the police agree to stop shooting children, but continue the mass incarceration of the same population.  

Honestly, I don’t feel like writing anymore or trying to continue this thought exercise to the conclusion. I’m going to go back to listening to Tracy Chapman.

On basketball and that curse

I realized that I was blowing up Twitter and Facebook today about the Cavs. People who read this blog know I’m a skeptic when it comes to matters of fate, but you will see me the most superstitious during this season. Why you ask? Just kidding no one is going to ask because they know the year, 1964. It was the best of times, leading to the worst of decades. It is time, we’re fucking due. You guys know how sometimes time feels like it might be moving in reverse? Because you’re dreading something or really excited about something, but the day won’t end? That is what sports has been like in Cleveland since 1964. The Catholic Church has had more Popes than Cleveland has had Championships. We could make a list, all the ridiculous things that happen at a higher frequency.

A little about me and basketball. I love it. My sisters love it. The kids we came up with love it. J and I had to draw straws for Mark Price’s number (25) in grade school (she won; and she got the same jersey M wore). *shakes fist in the air* Arguably, they both were way better than me with can’t miss three-point shots. As irony would have it I wore number 23 before it was cool. What I’m saying here is we have a long history with the sport. One my brother in law with all his Cleveland pride doesn’t really get. He doesn’t understand that our dad put a hoop up on our garage, and J and I would try to keep up with M. He doesn’t understand that sometimes we couldn’t play outside because of weather or all round shittery, so we put a mock hoop up in the hallway above the door and played there. Honestly, I don’t know why we picked this sport. It might very well be the reason J and I obsessed over a lot of things including Weezer’s Blue album and Green Day’s Dookie, because M liked it first. But it was something we could do together, and for M and J who spent a lot of our adolescence fighting it was something for them to do.

But I also know low-income kids in the low-income neighborhoods love basketball (and football) it means an option out. I don’t know anyone who didn’t play. No delusions of grandeur here, but if you’re good at sports, male, and from the hood you’re going to get a lot of extra pressure to do it. That makes me think of a boy from high school who grew up in the suburbs and the shadow of his siblings. They were all smart and athletic, and senior year this kid tells me he was going to get an academic scholarship so he’s quitting all the teams because he didn’t like the coaches or his teammates. He didn’t like playing, but he played for the better part of three years. As a woman and someone who grew up working poor, I know what it is like to do something you hate because you have to. But it is lonely, hollow, and sucks.

I have friends who don’t understand the love fanatical love of sports. But that is it in a nutshell. You love sports because you have nothing else to love, and maybe someone you know will be great, remembered when everyone else just fades away. Someone who will bring pride back to your community. LeBron James is that for Cleveland; it is why we’ll forgive him. Because when you lose at every turn then you can identify with a losing team (or teams, all the teams). They lose too, what do you expect? But when they win, it feels like you win. Like your city isn’t as much of a joke as it was before. Something might just be happening here.

Now about that curse. I don’t know if we’re cursed or if everyone loves an underdog. Or maybe we’ve been losing so long it is just part of the identity that is being from Cleveland. We know we’re going to lose. The Browns are going to lose. All major sports teams are going to. But also, Cleveland is going to get the short end of the stick when it comes to state funding. We have too many poor brown people to be of much interest to Columbus and the legislature. You know where else we lose? Education. Cleveland always finds itself at the bottom of that list in Ohio. Want to talk about property taxes? That is one reason our schools suck so hard. But also it is why 44105 had (might still have) the highest number of sexual predators in Ohio. How about that serial killer no one was looking for? Or all those closed rape cases just by thinking hey these might be connected? What about hemorrhaging 20% of our population over time? So yeah, the prodigal son returns, and look he brought some shiny friends with him. We might just win. Everyone is saying so, but I’m not sure winning a championship is going to break the Cleveland curse. I think we’re going to need something better than that.

All that said Cleveland is going to wail on the Knicks tonight. It is going to be awesome. Who better, right? I have no love for New York, man. Hell, no one likes New York.

The prodigal son returns home

LeBron James announced on Friday he will return to Cleveland, a town that told him to suck it on his way out the door. I was with the rest of the Cleveland natives; I said fuck him. I regret nothing. I’ve seen a lot of trolling about Cleveland, well forever, and as I told a friend, no one can troll Cleveland better than a Cleveland fan. And yes, that includes James. He’s a son of Akron, and he’s coming home. There is a beauty in that simplicity. People keep saying we’re fickle and too easy to forgive or that James is. Well, yeah, maybe, this is about sports not civil rights. So maybe everyone takes a breath and remember that.

Let me break down what growing up in Cleveland/Northeast Ohio. I don’t know what it is that makes you fiercely loyal to this area. What I do know is friends from Chicago feel the same way about Chicago. And some of my DCish friends feel that fierce protectiveness over DC (though some feel that way and aren’t from here). Doesn’t matter how bad it gets this is our home. My friend’s father once told me in reference to the crime and violence our neighborhood endures, “We were here before, and we’ll be here after.” Preach. Aside, this was when there had been a rash of home burglaries by an individual person. My mother keenly noted, “It isn’t like there is that much to take.” I think both of those statements sums up Cleveland. No one is going anywhere, and there isn’t anything left to take. That reads as depressing and maybe it is, but both of those things make you Cleveland tough.

That is why when James left it hurt so bad. He was supposed to know. He was supposed feel something for our town when it is a joke everywhere else. He took the one thing we did have going for us: the possibility of something better. Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but this is the same expectation put on every kid who leaves a bad neighborhood. Some might understand, but they expect greatness and a return after you leave. But mostly, haters hate. Accusations of abandonment, uppity-ness, and betrayal flow from family and friends. Because you’re supposed to be great, and by extension they’re supposed to be great too, and if you leave then what are they? I want to be clear, I totally did this to James.  To me this sentiment was particularly poignant in the first paragraph of his letter:

Prospect and E. 9th on Friday 7/11/2014

“Before anyone ever cared where I would play basketball, I was a kid from Northeast Ohio. It’s where I walked. It’s where I ran. It’s where I cried. It’s where I bled. It holds a special place in my heart. People there have seen me grow up. I sometimes feel like I’m their son. Their passion can be overwhelming. But it drives me. I want to give them hope when I can. I want to inspire them when I can. My relationship with Northeast Ohio is bigger than basketball. I didn’t realize that four years ago. I do now.”

I’m also not giving him a pass, pull this shit again. After all, fool me once…There is something so melodramatic about every decision this man makes, probably because it always results in a press conference. I half expect a press conference about where he buys shoes.

Also, I don’t know about the Gilbert letter or James’ feelings about it. James says they spoke on it. That’s good enough for me. I’d have been pissed, but it is the same bullshit you’d see in all the owners. It was uncool and not ok, but if James is willing to play for the man, then that is all that matters.

James’ letter acknowledges what some of us (me) already knew, which was highlighted in the Dave Zinn piece from more than a year ago: “I always believed that I’d return to Cleveland and finish my career there.” Zinn asserted that James wants to be a folk hero, and I completely agree with him. James continues to acknowledge the feelings on both sides after his departure including the reactions of his family to the disrespectful actions of fans and owners. But he always says mistakes were made on both sides. He then talks about how he wants to contribute to the team.

Alleged Cover of the Cleveland Plain Dealer

It is the conclusion that echoes what I was talking about before:

“But this is not about the roster or the organization. I feel my calling here goes above basketball. I have a responsibility to lead, in more ways than one, and I take that very seriously. My presence can make a difference in Miami, but I think it can mean more where I’m from. I want kids in Northeast Ohio, like the hundreds of Akron third-graders I sponsor through my foundation, to realize that there’s no better place to grow up. Maybe some of them will come home after college and start a family or open a business. That would make me smile. Our community, which has struggled so much, needs all the talent it can get.

“In Northeast Ohio, nothing is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have.

“I’m ready to accept the challenge. I’m coming home.”

This last part, this part about giving back to a community that has held you up, that is why when I look for jobs I include Cleveland in my search even when I know I’m never going to find something that fits what I do there. I have to look. I have to attempt it. Even if you’ve earned everything you have (which isn’t possible), you owe the people around you, if nothing else you owe them to make things better even if it is just through a dream or a possibility.

But maybe I’m just a sucker. At the end of the day I think everyone has the right to go home with or without a hero’s welcome.

Running Family Vote: In Favor. 
J: Good
F: Good
Me: Good

Mom: Reluctant and still pissed

M: Unknown
Dad: Gave me a look of indifference you could feel over the phone.

Some of the winning funny Tweets:

Fox News on LeBron: ANOTHER MILLENNIAL FORCED TO MOVE HOME DUE TO OBAMA ECONOMY
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 11, 2014

Tony Montana did. RT @AndyHutchins: How many people in human history have spent four years in their late 20s in Miami and matured?
— TEDDY GOOALSEVELT (@edsbs) July 11, 2014

This is probably going to end badly

It is almost like Republicans forgot the ass kicking Kasich’s anti-labor policies got. Look, I know there are Republicans in Ohio, hell there might be one in Cleveland proper…though I doubt it. We’re hemorrhaging residents and are 2 to 1 black. Our median household income according to the 2010 Census is $26,556 with a poverty rate of 34.2%. But don’t worry, Cleveland promised to raise money to host the convention. I’m not 100% where they are going to get it because they are already taxing us like a mother fucker for private sports teams.

Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE CLEVELAND. If I didn’t already have the name of my memoir picked out (The Art of the Slow Clap) Believeland would be a contender. I have no love for conventions let alone the Republican National Convention. Let me explain a bit about how this came about, and why even if the Democratic National Committee wanted to have their Convention in Cleveland I wouldn’t be dancing on the ceiling.

The Republican National Committee panel announced they are recommending Cleveland as the host city. See one of the major concerns about the convention is paying for it. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus insisted that the Republican Party wouldn’t be the one to foot the bill. The Convention is expected to cost about $60 million. According to AP, “In proposals and presentations to the party, Cleveland pledged to raise the tens of millions of dollars required to pay for the weeklong rally for the party faithful.”

Yes, I know this will also bring funds into Cleveland. After all people who come for a convention will spend dollars on getting there, staying there, food, etc. Maybe I shouldn’t be coy? This convention will bring money into corporations that have little to do with the residents of Cleveland. So unless, all the hotels are going to unionize and pay a living wage I have zero fucks to give. AP notes that Florida saw a $214 million direct economic impact from the 2012 Convention. I would like to see this number broken down again. How much of this went into the pockets of residents? And how much went to the corporations exploiting the labor in Tampa?

So we all know the importance of Ohio in the presidential campaigns, which is more than likely what this is. Republicans see hosting in Cleveland as a two-fold victory: Cleveland footing the bill, and Ohio. Cleveland is in the running for the Democrats too, as is Columbus.

Let’s come back to Cleveland and its problems for a moment. Cleveland has awful infrastructure. Poverty is a way of life, and I want to know how Cleveland plans on paying for this. Look if they have a reserve somewhere I don’t know about I could get on board. What this feels like to me is stealing from poor people to facilitate a party for rich people which will generate profits for corporations (which according to the Supreme Court are people).