Showing posts with label Shellie Zimmerman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shellie Zimmerman. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Victim Blaming and Shellie Zimmerman






Over the weekend I listened to a woman whose rapist went free after raping her repeatedly for hours, telling her his name, and not destroying the evidence because she didn’t look and sound like a victim. So Monday when everyone was dancing dangerously close to victim blaming Shellie Zimmerman I just couldn’t. Of course as of Tuesday morning it was all over the news that once again, George Zimmerman will not serve time. Now, I empathize with the anger from the black community about George Zimmerman. I can’t fully understand it, and I can’t fully understand Shellie Zimmerman’s thought process either. I do know how my friends of color felt about Zimmerman, and rage is the only word to describe it and a sense of fatalism that this is the world in which we live. I’ve seen family and listened to friends recount intimate partner violence, and I do know what it is like to be afraid of a partner. And the sentiments were similar, how did I or we get here? How do I exist is a small world where I have little power and control?

From CNN and Vivian Kou, Shellie Zimmerman filed for divorce from George Zimmerman. She called 911 after he allegedly threaten her and her father with a gun, though there seems to be some controversy as to whether a gun was present. Zimmerman was denying he had one. No charges were filed against George Zimmerman. ABC and CNN noted that Police Chief Steve Bracknell stated, “Shellie Zimmerman has declined prosecution (after consulting with her attorney).” However, in Florida during domestic disturbances the police reserve the right to file charges regardless of the victims, which is obviously problematic. The police are reviewing security footage from the home. But this is what Bracknell had to say, “We did not take a gun at all, because there was no reason to take a gun, because was in his truck.” Here I thought he threatened Shellie Zimmerman and her father then went back to sit in the truck and wait, but silly me, how could the gun have traveled between those two placed? Shellie Zimmerman later said she hadn’t seen a gun, but George Zimmerman kept reaching for where he normally carries it. George of course is claiming self-defense again.

George Zimmerman went to Shellie Zimmerman and her father where there was an altercation. Shellie Zimmerman called the police while George Zimmerman sat in his truck with a friend. Shellie Zimmerman was breathing heavy on the phone while speaking to the dispatcher, saying, “He’s in his car and he continually has his hand on his gun, and he’s saying, ‘Step closer.’ He’s just threatening all of us with his firearm.”

Shellie also said, George Zimmerman punched her father in the nose and broke her iPad. She continued on the 911 call to say, “I don’t know what he’s capable of. I’m really, really scared.”

According to the Chicago Tribune, Shellie Zimmerman says on the 911 call, “Dad, Dad, get inside the house. George might start shooting us,” she was shouting, then breaking down in tears, “Oh my God, on my God.”

Now, we all know George Zimmerman is a violent child murdering monster. I won’t go over that again. The CNN article goes on to try to discredit Shellie Zimmerman because bitches be lyin’ I guess. After all she lied about their finances back in April 2012 when the couple received more than $135,000 in donates because we live in a world that wants to pay the man who murders an unarmed black teen. It is kind of amazing, she’s a liar, but the first thing CNN says about him after the acknowledgement of Trayvon Martin is about how he saved a family from an SUV accident, and then two traffic violations, where he was very cooperative.

I want to note that Shellie Zimmerman claims George Zimmerman feels invincible now. Additionally, Shellie Zimmerman was quoted as saying, “I think I’m realizing that I have been married to a person for almost seven years, and I don’t think that I ever really knew him at all.”

I want to take a moment and mention that many victims of intimate partner violence feel this way. Because often the abuse is gradual and develops over time until it is a normalized part of the relationship so you wake up years later thinking, this isn't the man I love, but it is the man I love.

She was also quoted as saying, “I stood by my husband through everything and I kind of feel like he left me with a bunch of broken glass that I’m supposed to now assemble and make a life…It’s just heartbreaking…I have a selfish husband. And I think George is all about George.”

Mark O’Mara, Zimmerman’s attorney confirmed George Zimmerman was armed, but he was only checking to make sure it was holstered because he’s responsible.

A few months ago, Salamishah Tillet wrote about the domestic violence angle and the Zimmerman case for The Nation. Tillet notes the similarities in poll findings for the Zimmerman trial and the Simpson trial, but Tillet was more interested in the domestic violence accusations both men faced before their trials rather than the racial breakdown. We all know that violence against women and girls is often overlooked by authorities and the media, but also we know that accusations like these go unchecked and are often indicators of future violence.

Nicole Brown Simpson had a long history of documenting abuse. In the Zimmerman case, two pieces of evidence never made it to the trial. The first being a statement from Witness No. 9, was Zimmerman’s cousin, she claimed he molested her for ten years when they were children. The second piece of evidence was a report filed in 2005, Zimmerman’s former fiancé sought a restraining order against him for domestic violence. Put that in perspective when Zimmerman claimed self-defense against Trayvon Martin. Another former partner of Zimmerman claimed he was trolling her neighborhood to check on her. She asked him to leave, and there was pushing. Her dog bit him, and he filed a petition the next day painting her as the aggressor. She claimed he struck her as well.

I want to state I don’t have strong feelings for Shellie Zimmerman except empathy. I don’t know her. I didn’t know much about her until I started reading for this post. What I do know is while, you should be innocent till proven guilty, I also think we should believe the accuser until we know all the facts.

So Monday and into Tuesday we saw a lot of tweets about the statement “I don’t know what he’s capable of. I’m really, really scared.” Mostly comments that came very close to victim blaming because he did kill a child. But she also lived with him. She saw him when we didn’t, before we knew who he was, and after the media turned away. What we do know is that he committed violent acts against at least three other women. The victims of intimate partner violence often internalize it. The abusers isolate their victims and become their world, before the abuse begins, then after it starts they have no options for help.Yes, victims of intimate partner violence stay, they stand by abusing partners during trials if the state intervenes, they refuse to press charges, and they recant sometime. Because like during a rape, women are told surviving it the first priority. And because they might not know what life is without their partner. That is the way this works. This is a take on some other reasons the abused don't press charges.

A little more information? Firearms are the most common weapon used in intimate partner homicides, and internationally, one-third of women are likely to be murdered by a partner (June 2013). Domestically in 1998, 3 of 4 of women murdered were attributed to partners (BJS, 2000). A friend of mine doesn’t lock her door at night. It drives me crazy, and has become a running joke for us. Her reasoning, she more likely to be raped, murdered, attacked by someone she knows than a stranger. And while that is true, if that guy, the guy she knows, knows she doesn’t lock her door she’s an easier target. Yeah, that’s a thing we talk about. I girl I grew up with expects her relationships to be violent. I don’t know that’s she ever been in one that wasn’t. I mention this because I’ve said it before, men of color and women are people, and too often, it is the differences that divide us rather than the similarities to bring us together. Fear walking while being you, fear the state is going to come after you because they can, and fear someone you know is going to kill you.

But right now, Twitter is blaming a potential victim of intimate partner violence in a way the bad guys blamed Trayvon Martin. I’m not saying these people are bad mind you, the race baiters at Fox News, the NRA, and the insanity out of the conservative right are bad. These people on Twitter  feel passionately and felt slighted by the Zimmerman verdict, and that I can empathize with. I too saw a murdered get a pass. However, maybe a little empathy for Shellie Zimmerman, a 26 year old woman attacked by someone who was supposed to love her in a place she was supposed to be safe? 

This is what we do to victims though, we try to make it their fault. I've also seen a lot of tweets about the police only responding because Shellie Zimmerman is white, and while that might be part of it. I sincerely doubt that is the whole reason because she is a woman, and most police forces grossly mishandle domestic violence cases. However, he husband did just get off for murder while claiming self-defense so the police might be hyper aware of him. Below are some tweets I thought might be relevant.










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