Sexual frustration isn’t an excuse for violence

Elliot Rodger killed 6 people and injured 13 others over the weekend because he hated women, and he subscribed to the entitlement afforded to him because of his race, gender, and class. That is all.

Naturally, I’m losing my shit over people defending Rodger’s actions and those calling him mentally ill. It is safe to assume anyone who decides to solve any problem with violence let alone mass violence they aren’t using the same operating program the rest of us are using. That said a lot of people with mental illness are not violent and do not harm anyone.

Obviously, I read Kimmel’s Angry White Men, last week, which is particularly poignant given Rodger’s mass shooting. Kimmel’s book includes a chapter on mass acts of violence committed by angry white young men who feel slighted because their entitlement has been challenged. That is exactly what happened here.

So what exactly was the slight that Rodger felt? Oh, his right to women’s bodies was violated. He is owed sex and love from women because…he’s a white dude? I don’t know I’ve never understood this line of logic. This feeling that you are owed anything but a shove down. I guess my class is showing.

Rodger wrote a “manifesto” about his plight. It is full of hate particularly directed at women and people of color. He also has tied to Mens’ Rights Activists (MRAs) and Pick Up Artists (PUA), which is completely evident in the language he uses in the manifesto. He also released videos including Elliot Rodger’s Retribution. Some of the lowlights:

“For the last eight years of my life, ever since I’ve hit puberty, I’ve been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection, and unfulfilled desires. All because girls have never been attracted to me. Girls gave their affection and sex and love to other men, but never to me.”

The entire thing is all about his entitlement.  Women, are just objects to have as status symbols.

“You girls have never been attracted to me. I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me. But I will punish you all for it. It’s an injustice, a crime, because I don’t know what you don’t see in me. I’m the perfect guy. Yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men. Instead of men. The supreme gentleman. I will punish all of you for it [laughter].”

Well, I’m glad he states he’s a gentleman because judging from his actions and associates (MRAs) I would never have put it together.

“On the day of retribution, I am going to enter the hottest sorority house of UCSB [University of California, Santa Barbara], and I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blonde slut I see inside of there. All of those girls that I’ve desired so much. They would have all rejected me and looked down upon me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance towards them. While they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes. I’ll take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you. You will finally see that I’m the superior one. The true Alpha Male.”

The points from the passage above that are particularly striking because of his presumed victimization. For example, “if I ever” strongly implies the rejection is in his head. Thus, the women are just a stand in for his assumed rejection. Additionally, we get to see once again his view that women are just objects to possess.

We know that MRAs and PUAs encourage violence against women through their rhetoric. They are hate groups. They hate women. There are a lot of articles about Rodger now. It has also come out that in addition to hatred for women, Rodger hates interracial couples and is racist.

Of course, more misogynists have come out saying that what Rodger did was wrong, but hey what do you expect if women aren’t perpetually sexual available for any white man who demands it. The actual quote is “more people will die unless you give men sexual options.”

Finally, I want to end with a truly depressing situation: there was another mass shooting targeting women over the weekend. But there was also a hashtag created #YesAllWomen. These are two articles with some of the best. The hashtage is an interesting read and very depressing, but there is some power in saying it; it being the violence and misogyny focused on women everyday, yes all women everyday.

House GOP votes to cut SNAP

These people are the worst. I just don’t understand. The Huffington Post had a piece by Arthur Delaney and Michael McAuliff on the cuts. As I mentioned earlier in the week they want to take $40 billion over the next ten years starting in 2014. This bill requires beneficiaries to pass income and asset tests to prove poverty. It would allow drug tests because that is working so well with welfare. It would allow states to deny all able-bodied adults who don’t work or enroll in training for at least 20 hours per week. So let’s see what these ignorant asshats had to say:

• Eric Cantor: “This bill is designed to give people a hand when they need it most. Most people don’t choose to be on food stamps. Most people want a job. Most people want to go out and be productive so that they can earn a living, so that they can support a family, so that they can have hope for a more prosperous future. They want what we want.”
• Tim Huelskamp: “If you’re a healthy adult and don’t have someone relying on you to care for them, you ought to earn the benefits you receive. Look for work. Start job training to improve you skills or do community service. But you can no longer sit on your couch or ride a surfboard like Jason in California [man profiled by Fox News, so completely true you guys, stop implying Fox is propaganda network] and expect the federal taxpayers to feed you.”
• Frank Lucas (feel his desperation for this bill to pass): “I admit to you, that has been an unusual process. But it remains my goal to get a five-year bill [farm bill] enacted. I’m doing everything possible to make sure that happens this year.” Continuing on to say, “We have a responsibility to get this done, and quite simply, and I repeat, quite simply, it shouldn’t be this hard to pass a bill that ensures all of us in this economy has enough to eat. And that’s what a farm bill does.”
• Steve Southerland: “Work is not a penalty. Work is a blessing.”

And what are the Democrats saying?

• Marcia Fudge (O-H-IO): Today’s exercise is nothing more than a waste of out time and an insult to every American in need. The fact that we are considering this legislation makes me question whether the Republican leadership even wants a farm bill.” She added, this bill “guts nutrition for those most in need and says to the poor, to hungry children, to the disabled, seniors and our veterans, ‘You don’t matter, you are not worthy of our help.’ They deserve better.”

These bastards need to loss their jobs. Let’s see what we can cut from the federal budget if these people who voted in favor of this bill wouldn’t collect a salary next year:

In 2021: 233 Republicans in the House.

11 in Leadership collecting $193,400 and 1 Speaker $233,500.

221 members collecting $174,000

This comes out to $40,804,900 for the Republicans.

For the Democrats $35,052,200. So if everyone in the house didn’t collect a salary this year we’d have $75,857,100 to put toward SNAP. And that is before their staff.

With staff: $128,261,368 in 2012. But I’m not heartless, staffers should make a salary because they didn’t actually vote against the poor, but in DC the minimum wage is $8.25, and the living wage bill was vetoed by Mayor Gray as you remember, but there is a bill to raise it to $10.25 so we’ll pay them for a 35 hour work week at $10.25 an hour. I know what you’re thinking, but they work so many more hours that that, yeah, but this is the Wal-mart way.

This comes out to $10.25*35*52= $18,655. And multiply that by the 5,336 staffers listed in 2009 is $99,543,080, which leaves $28,718,288 from what was spent on them this year. All of this would be $104,575,388 is government salaries from the House of Representatives. Think about adding the Senate and the White House. Obviously, this isn’t going to be effective, because if we paid staffers minimum wage, even an increased minimum they’d be in poverty. Secondly, this doesn’t raise enough money. In reality I’m in favor of cutting DoD spending. I just find these numbers astonishing while they attempt to starve the poor.

Aside, thirteen people were killed last night in Chicago in a mass shooting. After my post yesterday, and how the nation forgot to grieve for DC, we’re not grieving for Chicago either. The Chicago PD isn’t releasing any information at this point about the shooting. They did release some information about the victims (pulled from the article linked to):

• The 3-year-old boy, shot in the ear, in critical condition at Mount Sinai;
• A 17-year-old girl, shot in the foot, condition stabilized at Holy Cross Hospital;
• A 15-year-old boy shot in the arm, stabilized at Holy Cross;
• A man, 27, shot in the leg and wrist, serious condition at Mount Sinai;
• A man, 24, shot twice in the stomach, serious condition at Mount Sinia;
• A man, 21, shot in the leg, serious condition at Mount Sinai;
• A man, 41, shot in the buttocks, serious condition at John H. Stroger Jr. Hospital;
• A woman, 33, shot in the shoulder, condition stabilized at Northwestern Memorial Hospital;
• A man, 31, shot in the buttocks, condition stabilized at Northwestern;
• A woman, 23, shot in the foot, condition stabilized at St. Anthony Hospital;
• A man, 37, shot in the leg, in good condition at Stroger;
• A man, 25, shot in the knee, in good condition at Northwestern;
• And a man, 33, who drove himself to Little Company of Mary Hospital in Evergreen Park with a gunshot wound to the leg and who was treated and released.

Victim Blaming and Shellie Zimmerman

Over the weekend I listened to a woman whose rapist went free after raping her repeatedly for hours, telling her his name, and not destroying the evidence because she didn’t look and sound like a victim. So Monday when everyone was dancing dangerously close to victim blaming Shellie Zimmerman I just couldn’t. Of course as of Tuesday morning it was all over the news that once again, George Zimmerman will not serve time. Now, I empathize with the anger from the black community about George Zimmerman. I can’t fully understand it, and I can’t fully understand Shellie Zimmerman’s thought process either. I do know how my friends of color felt about Zimmerman, and rage is the only word to describe it and a sense of fatalism that this is the world in which we live. I’ve seen family and listened to friends recount intimate partner violence, and I do know what it is like to be afraid of a partner. And the sentiments were similar, how did I or we get here? How do I exist is a small world where I have little power and control?

From CNN and Vivian Kou, Shellie Zimmerman filed for divorce from George Zimmerman. She called 911 after he allegedly threaten her and her father with a gun, though there seems to be some controversy as to whether a gun was present. Zimmerman was denying he had one. No charges were filed against George Zimmerman. ABC and CNN noted that Police Chief Steve Bracknell stated, “Shellie Zimmerman has declined prosecution (after consulting with her attorney).” However, in Florida during domestic disturbances the police reserve the right to file charges regardless of the victims, which is obviously problematic. The police are reviewing security footage from the home. But this is what Bracknell had to say, “We did not take a gun at all, because there was no reason to take a gun, because was in his truck.” Here I thought he threatened Shellie Zimmerman and her father then went back to sit in the truck and wait, but silly me, how could the gun have traveled between those two placed? Shellie Zimmerman later said she hadn’t seen a gun, but George Zimmerman kept reaching for where he normally carries it. George of course is claiming self-defense again.

George Zimmerman went to Shellie Zimmerman and her father where there was an altercation. Shellie Zimmerman called the police while George Zimmerman sat in his truck with a friend. Shellie Zimmerman was breathing heavy on the phone while speaking to the dispatcher, saying, “He’s in his car and he continually has his hand on his gun, and he’s saying, ‘Step closer.’ He’s just threatening all of us with his firearm.”

Shellie also said, George Zimmerman punched her father in the nose and broke her iPad. She continued on the 911 call to say, “I don’t know what he’s capable of. I’m really, really scared.”

According to the Chicago Tribune, Shellie Zimmerman says on the 911 call, “Dad, Dad, get inside the house. George might start shooting us,” she was shouting, then breaking down in tears, “Oh my God, on my God.”

Now, we all know George Zimmerman is a violent child murdering monster. I won’t go over that again. The CNN article goes on to try to discredit Shellie Zimmerman because bitches be lyin’ I guess. After all she lied about their finances back in April 2012 when the couple received more than $135,000 in donates because we live in a world that wants to pay the man who murders an unarmed black teen. It is kind of amazing, she’s a liar, but the first thing CNN says about him after the acknowledgement of Trayvon Martin is about how he saved a family from an SUV accident, and then two traffic violations, where he was very cooperative.

I want to note that Shellie Zimmerman claims George Zimmerman feels invincible now. Additionally, Shellie Zimmerman was quoted as saying, “I think I’m realizing that I have been married to a person for almost seven years, and I don’t think that I ever really knew him at all.”

I want to take a moment and mention that many victims of intimate partner violence feel this way. Because often the abuse is gradual and develops over time until it is a normalized part of the relationship so you wake up years later thinking, this isn't the man I love, but it is the man I love.

She was also quoted as saying, “I stood by my husband through everything and I kind of feel like he left me with a bunch of broken glass that I’m supposed to now assemble and make a life…It’s just heartbreaking…I have a selfish husband. And I think George is all about George.”

Mark O’Mara, Zimmerman’s attorney confirmed George Zimmerman was armed, but he was only checking to make sure it was holstered because he’s responsible.

A few months ago, Salamishah Tillet wrote about the domestic violence angle and the Zimmerman case for The Nation. Tillet notes the similarities in poll findings for the Zimmerman trial and the Simpson trial, but Tillet was more interested in the domestic violence accusations both men faced before their trials rather than the racial breakdown. We all know that violence against women and girls is often overlooked by authorities and the media, but also we know that accusations like these go unchecked and are often indicators of future violence.

Nicole Brown Simpson had a long history of documenting abuse. In the Zimmerman case, two pieces of evidence never made it to the trial. The first being a statement from Witness No. 9, was Zimmerman’s cousin, she claimed he molested her for ten years when they were children. The second piece of evidence was a report filed in 2005, Zimmerman’s former fiancé sought a restraining order against him for domestic violence. Put that in perspective when Zimmerman claimed self-defense against Trayvon Martin. Another former partner of Zimmerman claimed he was trolling her neighborhood to check on her. She asked him to leave, and there was pushing. Her dog bit him, and he filed a petition the next day painting her as the aggressor. She claimed he struck her as well.

I want to state I don’t have strong feelings for Shellie Zimmerman except empathy. I don’t know her. I didn’t know much about her until I started reading for this post. What I do know is while, you should be innocent till proven guilty, I also think we should believe the accuser until we know all the facts.

So Monday and into Tuesday we saw a lot of tweets about the statement “I don’t know what he’s capable of. I’m really, really scared.” Mostly comments that came very close to victim blaming because he did kill a child. But she also lived with him. She saw him when we didn’t, before we knew who he was, and after the media turned away. What we do know is that he committed violent acts against at least three other women. The victims of intimate partner violence often internalize it. The abusers isolate their victims and become their world, before the abuse begins, then after it starts they have no options for help.Yes, victims of intimate partner violence stay, they stand by abusing partners during trials if the state intervenes, they refuse to press charges, and they recant sometime. Because like during a rape, women are told surviving it the first priority. And because they might not know what life is without their partner. That is the way this works. This is a take on some other reasons the abused don't press charges.

A little more information? Firearms are the most common weapon used in intimate partner homicides, and internationally, one-third of women are likely to be murdered by a partner (June 2013). Domestically in 1998, 3 of 4 of women murdered were attributed to partners (BJS, 2000). A friend of mine doesn’t lock her door at night. It drives me crazy, and has become a running joke for us. Her reasoning, she more likely to be raped, murdered, attacked by someone she knows than a stranger. And while that is true, if that guy, the guy she knows, knows she doesn’t lock her door she’s an easier target. Yeah, that’s a thing we talk about. I girl I grew up with expects her relationships to be violent. I don’t know that’s she ever been in one that wasn’t. I mention this because I’ve said it before, men of color and women are people, and too often, it is the differences that divide us rather than the similarities to bring us together. Fear walking while being you, fear the state is going to come after you because they can, and fear someone you know is going to kill you.

But right now, Twitter is blaming a potential victim of intimate partner violence in a way the bad guys blamed Trayvon Martin. I’m not saying these people are bad mind you, the race baiters at Fox News, the NRA, and the insanity out of the conservative right are bad. These people on Twitter  feel passionately and felt slighted by the Zimmerman verdict, and that I can empathize with. I too saw a murdered get a pass. However, maybe a little empathy for Shellie Zimmerman, a 26 year old woman attacked by someone who was supposed to love her in a place she was supposed to be safe? 

This is what we do to victims though, we try to make it their fault. I've also seen a lot of tweets about the police only responding because Shellie Zimmerman is white, and while that might be part of it. I sincerely doubt that is the whole reason because she is a woman, and most police forces grossly mishandle domestic violence cases. However, he husband did just get off for murder while claiming self-defense so the police might be hyper aware of him. Below are some tweets I thought might be relevant.

@LOLGOP @ClinicEscort don't forget what she was wearing. I'm sure she was dressed like someone who wanted to be shot.
— Kari O'Donnell (@KariODonnell) September 9, 2013

This is how @colorlines prefaced this story (http://t.co/ZvaAGSMDfJ) on FB: "Hmm. Shellie Zimmerman recants her story."
— Jessica W. Luther (@scATX) September 10, 2013

I don't know. That is strange word choice considering everything here points to a typical DV situation.
— Jessica W. Luther (@scATX) September 10, 2013

And first comment on that @colorlines FB post: "Not shocking she wants the movie rights and book rights revenue he's got coming."
— Jessica W. Luther (@scATX) September 10, 2013

@slb79 I realize. Maybe coupled with the "hmm" - people want to hate her and I just worry about the discussion around this.
— Jessica W. Luther (@scATX) September 10, 2013