Wednesday, July 27, 2016

It has been a while but we have a woman nominee for a major political party

I've been busy this summer, but upon getting back from Arizona (and watching the RNC while crossing my fingers Cleveland would exist after it), I wanted to post something this week. So I'm posting this video of a 102 year old woman who got to cast AZ's delegates for Hillary.



But I wanted to follow it up with this image:




We come so far and got absolutely no where. Well done guys. Well done. Regardless of your feelings on Hillary last night was incredible.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

All anti-choicer want to punish people who have abortions

Oh, Trump didn’t come up with this all on his own. He’s just so stupid he can’t stop talking. The plight of the white man, I guess. They will talk and talk because they think everyone should have to listen to them, or it is censorship or ethics in gaming, I’m never really sure nor do I particularly care.

Let me break this down in the simplest of terms: antichoicers want to ban abortion. You know criminalize it. So anyone having an abortion would be breaking the law. Thus, if caught, they would be punished. Everyone got that, show of hands?

A lot has been going through my mind the last couple of weeks including this “Clinton is a liar” thing, which feels really gendered, but I don’t want to get into the concept women are inherently untrustworthy because I know fellas that weren't your intention, and of course, your intention is what is the most important. So hold back the male tears. A friend of mine used the phrase “politically dishonest” which I’d like to unpack with him sometime. I suspect this means Clinton will say anything to be elected. This raises a few questions for me: Are all politicians who change their minds, liars?; Are you holding different candidates to different standards based on whether we like them—likability if you will?; What is the point of debate if not to sharpen and expose leaders to better ideas?; and what is the point of any of this?

The last thing taking up a lot of my mind is the revolution. It seems like everyone is cool with the revolution happening (even if we have to endure a Republican president to facilitate it—I’m looking at you Susan) with little thought to what the means or would look like. A woman I know posted about how people who are willing to elect Clinton over a Republican need to check their privilege because obviously a Trump Presidency will usher in the revolution. I feel like it is the opposite. People who are willing to endure a Republican in office for the revolution need to check themselves. I bring this up following the Republican front-runner arguing to punish women who have abortions and the doctors who provide them. And I want to bring a little reality into the discussion of the revolution.

Some of us are more likely than others to usher in the revolution on our bodies or maybe over them is the more appropriate phrasing. The obvious people are going to be poor, black, trans, and/or women. You know the one’s you can murder and violate with little consequence at this point. So yeah, a Trump presidency will probably get us all into the streets where the police state can open fire on the same people they have been victimizing for decades. Gee, the revolution sounds a lot like the status quo right now. Talk about a revolution. Anyone calling for a revolution think it is going to be bloodless? Because we can’t have demonstrations about the murder of children without tear gas and clubs. They bomb and open fire on clinics.

I’m just not seeing where the white male body is under fire. While, Sanders has a diverse group of supporters, we (non-white men) know what happens when they (white men) get together. Men think a room comprised of 30% women in is overwhelmingly women…their perspective is skewed. So forgive me for thinking when the majority of Sander’s team leadership is male that maybe we’re going to be getting a lot of the white male perspective. Hell, I’ve been in rooms with one white dude, and he never shuts the fuck up, talking over anyone and usually everyone. Enlightening and liberating us, I guess. Alright, I’m done complaining about the status quo, shortsightedness, and the inevitability of things. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

But that’s not what was said

No one is any more qualified than anyone else to hold office based on social constructs. It flows so well, doesn’t it? This is what Killer Mike was probably trying to say, well this is probably the principle behind what he was trying to say. However, even saying this is kind of offensive because you’re reducing those not in support of your candidate as voting purely based on their gender, and Hillary Clinton is qualified for a lot of reason, some of which you might not agree with, but I don’t think you’d find any Hillary supporter saying she is only qualified because she’s a woman. No, she’s qualified as Secretary of State and a US Senator. After all, wasn’t someone just saying she’s establishment? Doesn’t that fly in the face of implying she isn’t qualified or that her supporters don’t think she is qualified and only voting for her because she’s a woman? But I digress.

Back to the point, right? Killer Mike said, a “uterus doesn’t qualify you to be president.” Let’s begin by the exclusionary and the obvious: no all women have a uterus. Also, given the rampant sexism in US history, do you really want to draw attention to the fact that having a uterus has traditionally disqualified you from being president? Look, I’m not even mad. I can’t be. I don’t have the time or energy. But this is the kind of stuff that gives me pause. Look Bernie isn’t responsible for what his supporters say (though, I’m not sure team Bernie would be so kind to high profile Clinton supporters stepping in it on gender last week, and I wasn’t). Also, let me stop you right there if you think citing a anti-racism and feminist scholar gives you free range to say stupid shit. After all, didn't I just write on Steinem a few days ago? 

See it gives me pause, turns my attention back to team Bernie, and what do I see? Well Bernie’s litmus test for the Supreme Court is a willingness to overturn Citizen’s United, and when pushed by the interviewer, only that. Now I hate Citizen’s United, but I’m looking for a Justice who supports civil rights. See how I said civil rights and not the right to choose? Because I recognize that the Supreme Court will rule on Roe, fair housing, and the constitutionality of state voting laws. For those not paying attention: women, LGBTQ, and people of color. They will be ruling on our right to determine our health choices, where people can live, and who gets to participate in the political process. But yeah, they should overturn Citizen’s United.

Well, we’ll see how this goes. I mean, I’m still feeling the Bern, despite and in spite of some of his supporters. But I’m really hesitant every time someone starts talking about how economic justice will deliver us all from systemic racism and sexism because it won’t. At best people who believe that are naive, and worst willfully ignorant. Want an example? Young people love free college education. Yes, yes. But those colleges are still going to have entrance exams right? This is when you think back to your education, kids coming from public schools in low-income black neighborhoods, often vocational schools, will not benefit from free college education because they never got the first free one. See there are neighborhoods where entire generations are under-educated, and they are mostly black, and free tuition doesn’t guarantee an education if you can’t pass the test or you’ve ridden the school to prison pipeline.

How about gender? Well, what does the government funded childcare program look like? Specifically, who will be employed and at what kind of wages? Because we know women, usually women of color, are disproportionately represented in high turnover, low-wage, emotionally exhausting care work. So are we still going to have a gendered workforce where women (largely women of color) make up a service industry for shitty wages? Cool, continue the gendered division of labor that keeps black women taking care of white children and prevent them from providing care to their own children. Because I haven’t heard Bernie endorse the CA House Rep who wanted to pay welfare recipients to stay at home with their kids or address the privilege paid childcare would be for some.  What about rape? What economic justice policy is going to fix that? What about police brutality? What is the economic policy that will stop the police from executing black people in the streets or worse in jail where no one can see?

I don’t think Bernie has the answers to these questions, and he shouldn’t have to. He’s one old dude dancing to the social justice jam. I’m in. But I’m not in for some bastardization of social justice that prioritizes class oppression over the others. I’m not here for that. But you can't reduce everything to class. Oppression isn't that simple. 

Monday, February 8, 2016

Alright Gloria about this white feminism, this is long overdue

Guys, Gloria Steinem, is the worst. There is a long sorted drama-filled history of her role in the women's movement. But at the end of the day, Gloria is a second wave, white feminist, and she believes all the things that go along with that. However, this weekend, we've reached peak WTF moment. What did she say? Well on Bill Maher, she announced women supporting Bernie are doing it because we're boy crazy:
“Women are more for [Hillary Clinton] than men are...First of all, women get more radical as we get older, because we experience...Not to over-generalize, but...Men tend to get more conservative because they gain power as they age; women get more radical because they lose power as they age.And, when you’re young, you’re thinking, where are the boys? The boys are with Bernie...”
My lesbian friends have a lot to say about this. Mostly, *squinty eyes* come again? Look, I don't have the figures of the demographic breakdown. I suspect slightly more men support Bernie; I also suspect that number increases slightly among young men. But I don't decide who I'm voting for based on where the boys are. Hell, if some of these supporters aren't trying to drive women away in droves. 

This is offensive on so many levels. Young women are so easily swayed by men, Gloria? Really? And Maher is right if a man said this NOW would be all over their shit. This kind of comment is so demeaning to young women and supporters of Bernie. It is also indicative of a huge split in the women's movement and in feminism as we know it. Gloria and Hillary don't represent the kind of feminism I believe in. I respect their ability to self-identify as feminists, but that is a narrow and limited version of feminism that helps only a few.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

This bro thing

So I wrote this and then deleted it, but then again someone I respect on Twitter decided the people complaining about the Bernie Bro thing are a privileged class of people not used to having to deal with the huddled masses who disagree with them. To which I must ask, have you been a woman on the Internet? Seems like a privileged class doesn’t want to be called names. Of course, that is not to say that journalists aren’t a privileged class. In fact they are especially when you consider the means it takes to become a journalist. However, I feel like this person and I are oversimplifying it.

I think I know what is happening. I could be wrong, though. I don’t think this has anything to do with fact or fiction; I think this is an irrational respond to being called a name. I’ve been reading a lot on race right now. I just finished Between the World and Me, and I’ve been casually reading Being White Being Good. So, I think when men identifying supporters of Bernie Sanders hears the phrase Bernie Bros they think they are being called sexist and by extension their candidate. I think a lot of them have gone off the deep end thinking that this is somehow comparable to the massive amounts of sexism hurled at women, and they think the ladies are overreacting to supporters of Bernie being assertive. But let’s use race because it might be easier (the only time this may ever be true)…

I participate in racism by living in a racist society. I am not racist (though I’m willing to listen to that argument), but I am complicit in racism. My whiteness oppresses people of color. The benefits and privileges of whiteness bestowed on me creates, adds to, and reinforces the racism inflicted on people of color. Now, I didn’t get up this morning, and think to myself how am I going to oppress people of color, but my very being does. But no one wants to be called a racist, right? Because I’m complicit in this system of racism, I pay close attention to how my words and actions are perceived and do the work to prevent myself from actively participating in racism.

So, the patriarchy, we live in it. Because we live in it, all men oppress all women. Now we can discuss the ways different privileges interact with different oppressions (no hierarchy mind you, but interactions) and the intersectionality that goes along with it. But sorry dudes, you’re going to have to try as hard as I do or even at all and no you don’t get an ally cookie. You participate in sexism just by existing this society. You benefit from privileges and oppress others just by being you.

Now, here is where I offend everyone. White, straight guys are the worst. They are the Britta of every relationship. Of course, I’m referring to the group as a monolith which is reductionist. But, could you imagine people of color complaining like they do? I mean think back to the assertion that there should be reparations. And we already know no one gives a damn about the sentiments of the women folk—history taught us that. If it weren't for the straight up denial by some of Bernie’s supporters of any sexism in the Sanders’ camp, this might have gone away. But nope, the men in the Sanders’ camp are really upset someone might call them a bro (thereby point out their complicity in sexism). So they respond with an assertiveness which borders on aggression to continue denying their complicity or worse, to push some idea that this is all in the heads of women. There is a term for this: “gaslighting”. It refers to abusers convincing victims, and those victims seek help through that everything is in the victim’s head. Now, for those of you who know me in real life know I’m over the men we have to coddle. I’m not here for that. I give exactly zero fucks about your hurt feelings, which is about the same as this kind of man gives for my hurt feelings.

So everyone, repeat after me, “I am complicit in the oppression of others in some way.”

Now: “Oppressed peoples get to define what is offensive.”

Now: “There are sexists who support Bernie Sanders, but not everyone who supports Sanders is sexist.”

Now, we’ll all hold hands.

I follow a lot of black women on Twitter, and I have to say, man the crap they get from strangers. But moreover, there seems to be this aggression from progressives to “those who vote against their own interests”. This is a level of insidious paternalism that is really offensive. It assumes you know better, and people aren’t capable of determining their self-interests. Additionally, I’m probably voting for Bernie, but after the exposure I’ve had to self-identified socialists the past few months, I know my interests aren’t their interests. Are my interests more aligned with Clinton? No. Bernie is more my style, but he like many socialists before him reduces everything to class, and while I’m all about the class inequities train, I recognize the intersections of oppressions, and I know eliminating classism will not save us—well not all of us. My concern here with the alleged Bernie Bros and those who swear up and down they don’t exists, will they have my back after the class revolution? Or will they be settled and silent? What about Black Lives Matter? Are these guys going to take to the streets? But with every passing day, I become more skeptical. 

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Fuck all the men on the left.

I don’t know how to put this as to not anger anyone, but then I remembered I don’t care. Over the weekend, I heard a socialist invoke intersectionality to dismiss the concerns of women and black people because CLASS! I’m not even going to highlight the irony there, just take a minute and bask in it and the total lack of self-awareness. Lean in everyone, capitalism sucks. Capitalism has been notoriously bad for workers, particularly workers who identify as women and people of color (you know the one’s excluded from the unions early on). Capitalism also came after gendered and racial divisions. This is why no one likes you. I swear to god every time I go to one of these things, it is an exercise in self-control. Then the group on to discuss gender as a binary, which explains the lack of gender queer and Trans individuals in that room, in a city with a radial Trans population. But is fine. White guys doing it for themselves. They’ll liberate all of us, and we can say thank you, politely with a smile. There was a very good point raised that women’s issues, issues important to people of color, etc. are optional for the left whereas the labor struggle is a given. That resonates, and the group quickly moved on.

But why am I complaining about all this? Some of the attacks on Hillary Clinton from the left are sexist. To dismiss them is to dismiss the concerns of women on the left. Some of the critiques of Clinton would be sound if they didn’t devolve into gendered critiques. The language you use matters, and I’m offended that men think they can tell me what feminism is. Fuck you buddy. Fuck you. Was that not clear? F-u-c-k you.

You know what I think is an affront to feminism? Men deciding what it is without doing any work. Hillary Clinton is a feminist. She is a radical or a liberal feminist, and if any of you guys bothered reading a feminist theory book or even just googling it you’d know what that means. The liberal and radical feminists fought for legal rights and protections; they were less concerned with economic inequality and more concerned with being able to make medical decisions without their husbands. I’m not a radical or a liberal feminist. I’m a Marxist feminist, but I appreciate and respect their struggles while I disagree with them.

But let’s talk about some patriarchy and condescension. When you say women are defending Hillary because she is a woman that is offensive. It means women will back any woman regardless of politics. There is also a weird essentialism happening here too, and I’ve seen it written a few times about women supporting anyone with a vagina, which is weird since all women don’t have vaginas, but what can we expect? Nuance? Please, not these guys strong point. But you know what, men should totally tell me what I think and why I think it. That totally isn’t sexist and condescending.

Don’t get me wrong, the struggle is real, but you don’t get to decide if something is coming off as sexist. Sure it wasn’t your intention, but *shrug*. I might have cried in a room where everyone was chanting liar while Clinton was on screen. It is an emotion inducing word for me. See men call a lot of women liars usually survivors of sexual assault. It has at some point become gendered; women lie. We’re seen as less trustworthy than men. Now, Clinton has lied about things during her political, which makes it hard, but everything is hard, and if it is too hard to be specific and clear then you shouldn’t be talking about it. But every time I read someone’s take on all this as all in women’s minds, all I hear is gaslighting. I guess women are just too fucking stupid to know when something sexist is going on. Must be in their heads because the women folk are irrational. Forget the dude who said some pretty offensive things to me when I pointed out the false equivalency of the first Jewish President and first woman president. These things are not the same. Well, that isn’t evidence anyway, right? That is just me being hypersensitive (which as all of you know is totally a word to describe me), and it is anecdotal at best. 

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Socialism is for everybody?

[Housekeeping: I know the tweets didn’t embed properly from the last post, but I tried several times to fix it, and I have zero fucks to give if it isn’t pretty. The quote took Bernie out of context, but that is the point isn’t? This is what people hear when he’s speaking? Maybe that should be addressed at some point?]

 A friend emailed me last week about my recent post, and I’m still thinking through things in that. But he asked what I thought about this reading group I attended on Women and Socialism by Sharon Smith, and I have a lot of thoughts.

Some of this is straight up me. I’ve been the only feminist in the room, but usually that is when I’m with a lot of people who are unaware of social justice. I’m often the only or most socialist person in the room, but that is because more often than not I’m in a room full of feminists. The other big part of this being my issue is I didn’t like the book. It was bad feminist scholarship, but this is because it is Marxist scholarship. The consensus in the room seemed to be the book was arguing all women should be socialists. I’m not 100% sure on that. I don’t think it was saying socialism is for everyone. What I think is a strange way this book was pushing bell hooks’ argument feminism is for everybody.

You ever been in a room with people who are really proud of themselves for asking the important questions, but can’t get past their framework to understand the answers? That is what this book was. The book wanted to talk about the women movement/feminism and socialism, but instead of conducting a thorough research project on Marxist Feminist theory, we got a history of feminism with a Marxist interpretation.

Then there was the discussion, and I remembered why I had problems with Marxist scholarship. Immediately, someone started critiquing, arguing the text so much in the book was based on as a lesser Marx/Engel’s text. This is true, but there wasn’t much of a discussion as to why that is. Well, there aren’t a lot of Marx texts about women. This is where including Marxist Feminist scholarship would be useful. There are feminist scholars who have made the connections. By in large these theorists were missing from the text. [Aside: I’m ready to throw down over anyone who wants to talk about domestic labor without referencing Foucault. I did a little sleuthing, and I know the Jacobin had a piece a few years ago about Foucault and his contributions to the left. The argument was we can critique him. Well, feminist scholarship is a critique of all other scholarship. Sometimes it is too much critique and not enough discussion about the actual arguments.] But really, what the book was trying to do was impose Marxist thought on the women’s movement. I was struck during the conversation how some things never change; Marxist thought breaks while feminist thought bends. This is because in Marxism we have to travel back every time to the beginning and apply principles, which can be really hard with some topics. In feminist thought, we use theorists that apply, and when one theory doesn’t work, we acknowledge it and say, this, this thing is where more work needs to be done. Then someone else does that work, but they find something else, and the scholarship is constantly changing.

One of the discussion leaders started talking about the books distinction between patriarchy and the patriarchy. The idea being people who say patriarchy aren’t referring to the theory that says all men oppress all women. The book then continues to talk about how patriarchy is bad for men too; bell hooks says so. This was when the book lost me, but the idea this book is for feminists to realize our relationship to socialism is also lost. This was when the discussion went off the rails for me too. When I say patriarchy I mean all men oppress all women and those who reside outside of the gender binary. This is the social structure we have. Not only that but for me the patriarchy is more than just gender (by the way completely a gender binary in this book save two references); it is race, class, sexual orientation, etc. (bell hooks said this too). White people are complicit in the oppression of black people because society is racist. When a group of people is determined by the way, they compare to those in power than any of those power traits you, have oppress others. It doesn’t matter if you mean for them to or not. For me, that line in the book is where I figured out this book wasn’t meant for me. It was meant for the men in that room talking about it. See, feminism isn’t scary. They even share some socialist roots with us. Nothing about the exclusion of traditionally feminine (and often black) labor from labor unions, though.

Don’t get me wrong. I like the reading group. I’ll go again. I’m just not sure how much they want to hear from people who disagree. Women’s Studies, we’d shout into the void—a room full of people who agreed with us, but I don’t know if the members of this group ever got that or if that is one of the functions in of the group. I'm struggling a lot recently with the way socialism interacts with other fields. I’m specifically thinking about how the Bernie campaign can’t go two feet without offending someone. I don’t understand, but then again, maybe it is just this bending vs. breaking idea. A world without capitalism would be great, but it wouldn’t be a world without oppression. Economic inequity isn’t the root of all oppression. Additionally, it diminishes the lived experiences of a lot of people to say economic equity will fix it. There is a wait your turn notion here that Bernie’s camp invokes in everyone they talk to apparently. That is what rubs people the wrong way.  

Thursday, January 21, 2016

The most hipster Presidential Campaign ever between two professional politicians.

“I totally support reproductive rights, but not through the Planned Parenthood because they’re too bourgeois; the org I support you’ve probably never heard of.” Made up thought process of the Sanders Camp or actual campaign line written by one of those really enlightened staff members *side eye*.

“I supported the Planned Parenthood before they were a massive institution. I probably interned for them before the inauguration of the PPFA Margaret Sanger Award.” Made up Clinton Camp line. JK she’d never invoke Sanger with the race issues she’s been having.

Really, this is where we are? Wonk nerd wars? The Planned Parenthood isn’t authentic enough vs. the Planned Parenthood has been a pillar of strength and justice for women so kiss the ring?

That is mostly tongue and cheek, but Sanders calls the Planned Parenthood establishment, and Clinton calls to arms, and I’m scratching my head. Guys, lean in close, I have to say this as a whisper least the Marxists come for me…sometimes there is nothing wrong with the establishment. You know how I know? The Planned Parenthood provides comprehensive medical services to people who can’t afford them, and poor women need medical care too. Personally, I’m glad they aren’t considered a fringe group. If they were I probably wouldn’t have gone to them post college for birth control, and then where would we be?

Sanders is invoking this notion that to be part of the establishment means to be looked at with suspicion and that I can get behind. Remember from a Marxist tradition the government isn’t exactly useful or particularly trustworthy. Additionally, the Planned Parenthood and the Human Rights Campaign have power and money, and in DC, that plays. The Planned Parenthood isn’t just the clinic you went to in high school. It is part of a massive political organization (coming back to this), and the Human Rights Campaign, well let’s acknowledge they burned some bridges chasing the heteronormative institution of marriage. The Planned Parenthood is a political institution now. I don’t know the full history, but I can imagine this wasn’t entirely intentional. Instead, being under fire from the right perpetually has left them seeking legislative protection and friends. That said, we need to ask how these large political groups who don’t have a voting membership, but appear to represent entire populations are making their decisions. This is a discussion we should have. This is not the discussion we're having.

In response to Sanders, the HRC and PPact have issued statements about how they actively fight the establishment. This is true in a lot of ways. But fighting back against other wings of the establishment doesn’t mean you’re not part of it. In fact, if the other guys are taking you seriously, then you’re probably a powerhouse too. I mean, fuck it. Own it. Yeah, we’re part of the establishment, but we worked really hard and long to get to this damn table, and we don’t have the luxury or privilege turning our backs on principle. People died to get us here to break the silence that surrounds so much oppression (police brutality, hunger strikes, unsafe abortions, the willful ignorance of concerns of these populations by the government, the band plays on). Where is the press release from HRC or PPact invoking the privilege Sanders holds? He’s a white man who has held office for almost my entire life, maybe longer. Must be easy to call others establishment with that kind microphone in the safety of that privilege? Did the warm embrace of the other hetero white men in the halls of Congress include a “no homo” line? But you can’t shame Sanders without shaming Clinton too. Hell, Clinton probably sleeps on corporate money—can’t you see her pulling up a comforter in the middle of the night of sewn together $100 bills? 

But at the end of the day, these are two savvy lifetime politicians. If you’re expecting another else, then you haven’t been paying attention. And I don’t care which professional can convince the masses they have more “anti-establishment” or “authentic” street cred. Make no mistake, intentional or otherwise that is what is happening here. Both are trying to lay claim to the feeling of ostracization people feel in regards to the establishment, politics, and politicians. 

Below are two tweets that I saw about all this. The later one I might come back to in another blog post. I have a lot of thoughts about a reading group I attended last night. A lot of thoughts, but that second tweet highlights some of the discussion in this reading group about the centralization of class and “wait your turn” politics.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

It was a legit hard question

Rape and this presidential campaign. Damn. I’m not even going to touch the Republicans here. But while the left is really concerned about Clinton taking responsibility for her husband’s sexual assaults, I’m looking forward to all the think pieces on Sanders’s campus rape remarks from his supporters. It’s fine. I’ll wait.

I want to be very clear, Hillary Clinton has been inconsistent on rape survivors. That said, she has made statements about her victim blaming past. If we want to talk about that, I can get behind it. I’m not however here for trying to get her to take responsibility for Bill’s actions. People are going to jump on that and claim no one is doing that, but let me lay this out for you. Hillary’s husband has a shameful history of assaulting women, which he had when in office. You know him; he is a public figure, used to be President. Hillary can make statements about Bill’s behavior but at the end of the day his behavior. I also caution against acting like Hillary should be running from Bill or taking some kind of militant stance. I don’t know their relationship except it is marriage. I do know when I found out a friend of mine was a predator; I didn’t take it well. I believed it immediately, but I had also for years defended and dismissed his predatory behaviors. Just pointing out this is a complicated personal issue. Hillary has said she failed women in the past for her positions on specific cases, and she says she’s changed her position. As someone who has also changed my mind on some things that’s enough for me. I know where Clinton falls, and, what's more, I know that she might blame victims again. But I also know that women can count on Hillary on the macro level even if she falls them on an individual level.

Bernie Sanders, when asked about campus sexual assault, took a criminal investigation stance. This is a legit stance. It was a legit hard question. Sanders’s stance is the wrong stance. It is also a little troubling given Sanders’s positions on other aspects of the criminal justice system. Sanders advocates for campus sexual assaults to be handled by the police. Below is the statement, and it reads like someone who isn’t familiar with rape, but thinks this is the way women want people to respond to it.
“Absolutely it is, and you’re right, it is an epidemic. And here’s what I think has to happen. Rape and assault is rape or assault whether it takes place on a campus or on a dark street. And if a student rapes a fellow student, that has got to be understood to be a very serious crime. It has got to get outside of the school and have a police investigation. And that has to take place.
“Too many schools now are saying, well, this is a student issue, let’s deal with it. I disagree with that. It is a crime, and it has to be treated as a serious crime. And you are seeing not the real horror of many women who have been assaulted or raped sitting in a classroom alongside somebody who raped them. Rape is a very, very serious crime. It has to be prosecuted, and it has to be dealt with."
Let’s table the discussion about how the police don’t believe victims, the systemic racism and sexism, and all the other shortcomings of the criminal justice system, but I’m coming back here. Campuses are required to investigate sexual assaults because of Title IX, which protects students’ rights to equal education opportunities for women and men including education free from harassment and assault based on sex. Campus rape is a civil rights violation. Colleges have to investigate even when a sexual assault isn’t officially reported. Moving forward, I’m going to demand my left candidates know this. Low bar for the men feminist, just know what Title IX is. I naturally have issues with campuses dealing with sexual assaults internally in a backroom, but I’m also not here for compulsory criminal reporting. Also, if justice (and we can talk about whether justice comes from a criminal system or not) is only pursued through the criminal justice system, then it is seen as an individual crime not necessarily a failure of an institution to protect their students from civil rights violations.

According to RAINN, for every 100 rapes, only two rapists spend time in prison. According to Kate Harding’s book Asking for It, the majority of police believe rape myths including most are false accusations. Just some perspective before we start advocating for a single approach to dealing with campus rape…because it is working so well for those, who seek justice through the criminal justice system. This doesn’t even include how notoriously racist the criminal justice system is or the steeper prosecution and penalties for black men, which Sanders knows about because he has spoken about the mass incarceration rates among black men. I can’t advocate for an exclusively criminal justice response to rape and sexual assault in one breath and the dismantling of the criminal justice system in the next. That said, there is a fine line here. And if anyone deserves extensive and over the top prison sentences it is rapists.

Sanders’s has been good on women, but moments like this make me wonder how many women in his campaign are up close advising him on how to answer questions. Does anyone in his campaign know what Title IX is? That person should have been the person advising Sanders’s on this question. My rough estimate is five women at Sanders's headquarters of 21 staff with two vacancies, roughly a quarter of his staff. This is kind of like when people are like how many women do you need? I need half; we’re half the population so it shouldn’t be that hard to find qualified women, but that is a pipe dream I know. I need enough women represented that a campaign gets women’s concerns right. That can be one or 21. I don’t care.


Sander’s is a good progressive, but once again, I’m wondering if he has a gender problem. His campaign, his grasp of the issues, etc., which leads me to being concerned about women during his Presidency. I know I’ll retain my reproductive freedom—but when the Republicans come for Title IX again (and they will) will Sanders have our back? What about other nuanced issues facing women and the gender nonconforming? Will Sanders have someone in the room who can explain it to him? I don’t demand he have every answer perfect, but guys someone needs to be there to talk him through it. If in the end, Sanders truly believes the criminal justice system is the only way, fine, he’s wrong but fine. I disagree with the guy I vote for all the time, but I wonder if anyone in his campaign has any kind of background on gender-based violence. Finally, as Clinton can change her mind so can Sanders; he has demonstrated with the Black Lives Matter movement that he can learn. I look forward to his more nuanced responses on questions like this one moving forward.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

I’ve been called a lot of words beginning with C, but complacent hasn’t been one of them

To be honest, only cunt comes to mind. But I consider myself a contrarian so we’ll add that to cunt.
Complacent, though, that is shaming, right? Like, hey, you’re not doing enough for the status of women. Well, Debbie, (I can call her Debbie, right?) I think you’re not doing enough for women. I think it is easy to think of reproductive justice as the only women issue, and that should be our lady responsibility alone, but I feel like class issues are women’s issues and race issues, and the band plays on. And honestly, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of having one debate, one subject define who I am as a person. Welp, K has a vagina so abortion must be the issue for her. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t date anti-choice, but I like to think I’m more than my reproductive function regardless of whether I’m being defined by the right or left, men or women.

It is the time the men pull their fair share on this too. I know a lot of clinic escorts, want to guess how many men I know who do it? Yeah, none. Where are the progressive dudes? Right at the socialist reading group. What guys don’t want to maybe take a bullet for other’s civil rights? I’m being hyperbolic and dramatic. But there is something to this. I enjoyed the reading group too, but I’m wondering where the commitment to social justice ends. Hell, where does the commitment to economic justice end? Because there was a lot of condescension and shade thrown in that room focused on a man who was clearly struggling with a lot of issues.

But I’m circling back to what I believe to be the real problem. This idea that woman have to run to the front on reproductive issues but stand in the back on others. It is what the left does to people of color too, so don’t get me wrong I’m not blind. Black men can talk about police brutality, but we don’t want to hear about the long-term consequences of a completely and actively undereducated population or reparations. No, we should frame the education discussion in this country about whether or not we should pay for Trump’s kid’s college education (Hi Hilary!). If we’re going to point fingers about those are who aren’t doing enough, let’s call some out: mainstream Democrats, including the ladies, and the white dudes on our team. They are complacent. They are so complacent they think they can continue to tell us where to show up and what to do, and we’ll just do it because who else do we have? Pass. I’m not here for that. If you can’t meet me for mine, then I can’t come for yours. Some groups/people are all about solidarity, but those groups and people seem to get the shaft when it is time for people to show up for them. There is a wait your turn mentality around all of this. This “you won’t mind” concept that what they prioritize is somehow more important than everything else.

For example, when you talk to progressives about antichoicers in the states stripping rights away they laugh it off like these are some fundamentalist zealots—won’t go anywhere. They’d be right on one count; these people are ridiculous, but it is a lot less funny now that there are three clinics in Texas. What the Dems and progressive don’t seem to realize that with every election cycle where people of color and women lose more and more rights, there are fewer reasons to vote Democrat.

Well, Debbie threw down the gantlet. Young women are complacent, well maybe, but let’s see how complacent they are come the primary—maybe all the ladies can write in bell hooks—or the general when they stay at home. When the left pretends their base will just show up because they did for Obama.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

When I went to college

When I went to college, Carroll invited our parents to come for an orientation. My dad went because this sort of thing falls under his purview of responsibilities. Not a dis on my mom, but not her thing. My dad told me after that they had a rape orientation which was essentially, Catholic school, door open, feet on floor, which much like abstinence only education is fool proof, and they warned our parents that a lot of kids have trouble with the close quarters in the beginning. This was promptly followed by a tour. Now, I too had the rape lecture and found it as useless as my dad, but his response to the dorm living I’ll never forget. He said to the tour guide, my girls (J and myself) share a room not even half this size. It was true. J and I shared a ridiculously and comically small room growing up. It really prepared us for living in a surveillance state because there was no privacy. When I moved to DC I had a closet larger than my childhood bedroom—I measured it, because that is something I’m neurotic enough to do. I didn’t actually have my own room until I moved out of the dorms my senior year and into a brothel (not really, but according to the restrictions in South Euclid, houses with more than 3 unmarried women…).

My parents’ home is one floor located about half way down our street (our current vacant lot count is 18); growing up it was always white, inside, outside, all the walls, white, always white. It didn’t have a basement just a crawl space or much of an attic, which was only accessible through a trap door in the hallway ceiling. A hallway that two people can’t really fit side by side in, which I’ve mentioned before and completely responsible for my sisters and my belief that basketball should be a full contact sport. I’m trying to paint a picture here of simple, and that word is important because of an article I read last week talking about the appropriation of poverty. We were working poor and by no means that bad off. My parents put us through private school so we could go to college, and while I don’t know if it was their intention without Trinity I would never have been able to assimilate into Carroll or the rest of my life and not just because of the Catholic part. Trinity was a college prep school, and with its shortcomings, and there were some, Trinity taught us how to pass with kids who there was never any questions about whether they’d attend college. Trinity gave me the patience women stereotypically have and along with those shortcomings the realizations that there are consequences for everything and the price is pretty steep for people who don't intrinsically belong. 

The article, “The troubling trendiness of poverty appropriation” by July Westhale published on the Establishment, left me with a lot of feelings and thoughts. Westhale and I have very different experiences, and her’s definitely lends itself more to the “simple living” trends, but mine, well mine is the gentrification that displaces and erases poor people, mostly poor people of color from urban neighborhoods. Westhale says, “And it’s not the Tiny House Movement that incites my discontent. From dumpster diving to trailer-themed bars to haute cuisine in the form of poor-household staples, it’s become trendy for those with money to appropriate the poverty lifestyle—and it troubles me for one simple reason. Choice.” Preach. The article is broken out into three major sections: space/things, entitlements, and food.

Women in general are hyper aware of space, please see manspreading for more information. Women are told not to take up space by everything, and poor women should take up even less after all they haven’t earned it. So when people start talking about wanting to living small spaces or take back spaces relegated to the poor what they are saying is I can choose this and those people still don’t deserve space. It has always been this way; the poor living on top of each other in tiny spaces slums, “ghettos”, trailer parks, or even further back the tenements. As for things, when you think back to being a kid, think back to saving for something, remember saving your allowance or birthday money or whatever, and then you buy whatever it is, and it is just stuff, a thing, which can’t make you happy or anything, but it is yours. That is kind of what poverty is like. So everything you have you had to earn. People don’t think about that when they think about the poor. We think people with money earn things, but people who always have access just have things; they don't earn things. Things and space are the right of the those in privilege. 

Westhale also shares an anecdote about hipsters rejecting capitalism through welfare. Once in Portland I became so irate with the idea that people would suggest people who could work, white, educated people who could obtain jobs without the same biases people of color and the poor have to face, who opt out, that I yelled at friends and strangers alike. I was not at my healthiest mental state. I yelled about how block grants get fixed sums of money and when the money is gone most states don’t comp the people it won’t cover. Really, hipsters are taking welfare from poor people; this is the reason to hate hipsters. I still want to hit something. It isn’t just hipsters in Portland who join welfare to opt out of capitalism. A group of people I deeply respect participate in “voluntary poverty,” and as I told them, there is nothing voluntary about poverty. If you can opt in you can opt out again. They don’t use welfare to counter their costs, and they see it as participating with the population they serve. See for real people, poverty is super expensive. It is juggling bills and late fees with what gets paid this month, or opting for a parking ticket instead of paying for parking because you don’t have the cash now, and the ticket won’t be due till after you get paid. Being poor comes with a ton of fees. Opting out of capitalism is like opting out of the patriarchy. It isn’t possible, and if someone does think they are doing it they are blinded by their privilege.

Finally, the food. I love fast food fries. As a kid my dad and I had a rating system. See I’d go with him to get takeout usually on Fridays, and we’d rate fries by whether they required ketchup. Really good fries like Red Barn (Slavic Village, what!) fries required little to no ketchup, but Burger King fries need ketchup, all the ketchup. But poor people food isn’t just fast food, through it is a lot of it, right? You can tell what kind of neighborhood you’re in by the fast food places…Popeye’s, you know where you are compared to a Panera. You don’t even need to think about the actual amenities of these places like the bullet proof glass that separates your server from you in some take out places in the hood or accidentally ordering drugs through a drive thru.  But kidding aside, I can’t eat peanut butter. Westhale talks about rice, but for me it is peanut butter. I don’t know why. I mean we ate it all the time in school. It got to the point where I would only take carrots for lunch because I couldn’t eat the peanut butter. My mom and dad still eat peanut butter sandwiches for lunch every day, every day. My maternal grandma (Nanny, as we called her) couldn’t eat pumpkin. There were times when it was the only thing they had to eat during the Depression so she refused to eat it later in life. And this is the side of things where you consume something so much you can’t anymore, let’s talk about exposure. I never had eggplant, mushrooms, a variety of foods that either my mom didn’t like or didn’t know how to prepare. I remember the first time I ate a kiwi, and the first time I ate a mango. Surprise, poor people don’t have access to a full range of foods or any idea how to prepare some of it. I still have no idea how to prepare eggplant. No clue, and I have the internet. That said mushrooms are gross and always will be. *shudder*

I’m torn on how to end this post because Westhale ends with this quote, “Because, let me tell you, there is nothing simple about being poor.” Truth. Being poor is hard. People have some idea that it is easy or poor people are lazy, but anecdotally, it has been my experience that poor people have hella work histories. They work all the time. Additionally, they have stress and anxiety and are more likely to suffer from depression and usually don't have access to mental health care. To opt into poverty or opt into poverty appropriation is just a slap in the face and reeks of privilege. That might be it, my big peeve about all this: people I know, me, my friends, worked really hard to get out and pass, and because we were lucky and made few mistakes we did or we didn't (and a lot of us didn't) so when these little privileged kids want to play poor for a minute I want to punch them in the face. They don't want to improve things for those in poverty. Instead these people want to mock the poor, and things that have been part of the impoverished lives. 

Aside: My roommate is studying hipsters, and this quote exemplifies everything:

“It’s but one example of an entire hipster moment—can it be called a movement when it’s a subculture rooted not in political consciousness, but in capitalism?—that has brought with it an ethos of poor-culture appropriation and the “re-invention” of things that have largely been tools of survival for the poor, disabled, working class, and/or communities of color for decades.”

Monday, November 30, 2015

Once again accusations have been made, and I’m backing the victim so be warned

I have such mixed feelings on the porn industry. Consent and agency is key and usually I can just leave it at that. Porn doesn’t do much for me, but if everyone has agency then it doesn’t matter what my personal feelings are, right? But my mixed feelings aren’t just because I’m kind of prudish when it comes to watching people have sex, but because of the impact of capitalism on ALL THE THINGS, I’m always skeptical.

Here’s the thing, though, and might be why everyone is kind of freaking out a bit, I was cool with James Deen. I mean, again, I’m not so into porn, but he seemed cool enough and into consent. I even think he’s vaguely attractive. He identifies as a feminist and even had a sex column at the Frisky (which I’m sure is down now or on its way down). But identifying as a feminist isn’t a pass. You don’t get to claim to be into social justice and women’s equality only to turn around and assault someone.

One of the things that stuck with me after Stoya (Deen’s ex and fellow adult film star) tweeted about her rape was that people asked for proof because that is totally something you’re going to have. Totes cool guys. This situation isn’t going to have proof on either sides. She says he raped her, and he says he didn’t. At best the industries (both the feminist and porn industries) might turn on him, but more than likely nothing is going to happen. Joanna Angel has come out in support of Stoya, as have many others. Don’t get me wrong Stoya is facing a lot of backlash, and let’s not pretend the idea you can’t rape a sex worker isn’t coming into play here. Or the idea you can’t rape a partner. All the clichés, every last one.

After Stoya’s post, another adult film star, Tori Lux said Deen assaulted her too. I suspect we’ll see a few more before this is over. Deen has responded as he should and has to claiming the accusations are false, and more so using feminist language to do so. That sweet sting of a man who claims to be a feminist fucking things up; you’d think we’d be used to it. 

Monday, October 19, 2015

That was not a weekend

I can’t even right now, but there was an article at The Guardian over the weekend about how the rich are getting therapy because being so rich is isolating. If only more so, and then we wouldn’t have to deal with them. I get that mental illness can hit anyone (though low-income people, women, and people of color have high rates of diagnoses and that’s largely without access to mental health services), but this is where my background shows. People feel bad because they have too much money? I can’t resist the eye roll. It is a different kind of problem I suppose, and when in the middle of a depressive episode you don’t, or you might, recognize that this isn’t as big of deal as it feels like. I’m more familiar with concrete stressors triggering mental illness: lack of access to meds, financial stress, violence, a debilitating self-loathing. But apparently rich people need to know that people like them with or without money. For the record, I don’t like rich people because of the way the system exploits people, and I don’t believe you can accrue a fortune without the exploitation of others.

I came home last night to my roommate’s texts about our bathroom flooding and the maintenance guy asking her (for the 100th time) are you sure? Guys might not get what that means. “Are you sure there is a problem?” Subtext, well you present as cis gendered women so you can’t possibly know if something is wrong. *head desk* I wish K had said, well there is water on the floor so yeah pretty sure there is a flood, but if you’d like to come over and explain to me why I shouldn’t be concerned then by all means. So my afternoon to do list includes calling and yelling at this dude about his condescension and ignoring our concerns. With the added bonus of knowing we have to move in May.

I read this article and came home to the flood after listening to a person talk about killing themselves before their partner kills them. Lack of resources when your husband is the breadwinner, isolated from family and friends, and a lack of access to resources. But some people with a lot of money feel lonely. I’ll be exiting stage left and barricading myself in my apartment for the rest of the week, but this is only Monday, and I can’t imagine what the rest of the week is going to look like. 

Thursday, October 15, 2015

I’m just an angry person.

I had a moment today when I was thinking back to one of the worst things I’ve ever done. Of course, then I shake it off, open up Twitter and see this. Naturally, I respect the person who posted this. It was just a dumb thing to post but bound to happen in a patriarchy.



Allow me to make things worse.

Look, I love Bernie. I’ve been into Socialist Grandpa for a while. But Clinton being the first woman President is a big fucking deal, and we can’t dismiss that. This is sexism clear and simple. Want to know why? Women aren’t represented in government adequately. We’re 20% of Congress and 33% of the Supreme Court, and these are our high scores. We’re 50% of the population, and some states want my husband to give permission before I get a medical procedure. So sit the fuck down gentlemen. Also, these numbers get even worse when we start parsing out race and class. Also, I really hate the implied oppression hierarchy being invoked here.



Fuck all the things!

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Democratic Debate

I’m going to keep this brief. No one cares about Webb or Chafee. O’Malley isn’t going to be the nominee, but he’s trying really hard for Veep. Now, Clinton and Bernie. I’m team Bernie all the way. But there was one moment when Clinton owned and no one can dispute that.


Take a minute and bask in that. And that children is what a boss looks like. Love Clinton or hate her, you can’t argue with her power and style. And while we’re on the subject, someone on Twitter last night asked if there would be so many men on stage if Clinton were a man with her experience. I think we all know the answer to that. See above.

One of my favorite moments was when Bernie went all Oprah, you get an education, you get an education, you get medical care, and you get social security. Then of course calling for a political revolution only to have cold water thrown on his fire by Webb.

Now time to invoke 702, where my girls at? Because really where was the discussion on women’s issues. I mean paid leave, but it wasn’t framed as a women’s issue just as we’re the only nation of our stature that doesn’t do this already, shame, shame, shame. But no one mentioned how women are punished for taking the unpaid leave over the course of their career through lower pay and straight up discrimination. The stories I could tell about women lying about pregnancies in order to get jobs. No one mentioned how paid leave will impact low income single mothers either. Also, I have zero fucks to give about fathers’ telling their daughters they can be president, and I don’t care about your immigrant wife. I care about women, who are autonomous people with thoughts, opinions, and value not associated with men. Choice is under fire, and we’re asking about Snowden? How about making each of those politicians say they support a women’s right to choose regardless of the circumstances?


End scene. 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

This is what happens when I join things

So I joined this writing group. [Wait for mocking] I’ve gone to one event and critiqued pages for two events, but I was sick so I couldn’t go the second time. We’ve only read pages from three authors, which was for four different sections. There is a lot of genre fiction, which isn’t my jam, but I enjoy once in a while too. For example, one of the women in the group is slamming out pages before her maternity leave, and her story is great. It is fast paced, and despite what might be an unnecessary rape scene (the villain was well established without traumatizing the protagonist, but the scene is a believable course of action) the author is hitting all the right notes in respect to survivors of trauma.

But that leads me to the novel pages we were warned about at the end of the first meeting, which is essentially, this is erotic fiction so ladies be warned. Well, as it turns out I’ve read erotic fiction, and real erotic fiction not Twilight fanfiction, which leads me off on a tangent. MEYERS’ REWROTE TWILIGHT GENDER SWAPPING THE MAIN CHARACTERS. And done. Though that gives me so much joy. C, get on this. I’m like well it has to be pretty substantial to warrant a warning since the graphic and frightening rape scene didn’t. Right?

Well that’s the thing it isn’t an erotic novel. It is a first person narrative that includes graphic sex—which is subject to interpretation too—, but it is a, well not really a coming of age tale, but more a coming to terms with who you are when who you are might not be who you want to be, of course I’ve only read 30 pages. Yes, there are two graphic sex scenes, but they aren’t frivolous by any means. All that said, it was hard to read because the narrator doesn’t like women. I’m in no way equating the author and the narrator, but the narrator just doesn’t have any respect for women. The first sex scene is between the narrator and the sister of the woman he is trying to sleep with because women are interchangeable. This is of course after dismissing all the sex partner’s thoughts, which are meant to be flattering to the narrator. Later on, the narrator tells a story about his friend’s involvement with a manipulative bitch. I was like wow, sure she’s cheating on her husband, but he’s ok with it, and he seems to be the one making this worse than it needs to be. Which is to say, that none of the women characters are afforded much by way of the narrator, they are all a little crazy, silly, stupid, slutty, etc. I suggested the author introduce a character to be a foil for his narrator, one beyond reproach to let the read know when the narrator is being unreliable. Just someone there to disagree with the narrator and be taken seriously.

Sometimes I think I go overboard. I did note through the entire thing I hadn’t read the story from the beginning because I got 30 pages in the middle somewhere.  How come men have such trouble writing women? Regardless, we’ll see how all this went over. Like I said I couldn’t go to the last meeting, but I did send my comments. I’d rather people be honest and direct than not and hope for the best. Still, I may have overstepped. This is literally what happens when I join things. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Happy Women’s Equity Day! Everything is still terrible

I’m not 100% sure what we’re celebrating, just being able to vote I guess…unless you’re a woman of color living in a state that requires the Voters’ Rights Act be enforced in order for you to exercise your rights. But hey, most women can vote. My twitter feed is blowing up with Women’s Equity Day stuff and the murder of two journalists on television. So really, I’m going to pass on a lot today. In regards to both, you just see empty language saying the same old thing: women’s equity now, we need more representation, gun control. But what everyone means is today we’ll talk about all this, but once tomorrow comes you’re all on your own.

Let’s see what is still terrible:
  • Anti-choice laws gaining traction nationally (specifically women’s health as a bargaining chip and base unifire, regardless of the health needs of women)
  • Misogynist GOP Presidential candidates
  • The straight up open season on Trans women of color
  • Anti-welfare legislation
  • Rape victim shaming and blaming
  • General sexual and gender based violence
  • Pay gap
  • Lack of representation in government at every level
  • Women disproportionately live in poverty

 So congratulations everyone for caring about women’s equity today. 

Monday, August 24, 2015

The End of the Tour, the end of something

Well, I’ll be upfront after watching this movie, my friends said, “this is an abbreviated version of Kari’s dating history,” and that wasn’t too far off. I date a lot of dudes who think they are smarter than everyone else and fight about other things because they can’t admit they are jealous of one another. My one friend actually suggested we were watching two white dudes jerk each other’s egos off. Which on some level isn’t wrong.

That is to say, I liked the movie, kind of, and I didn’t like the movie. I don’t know what I was expecting. I haven’t read Lipsky’s book about his six day conversation with David Foster Wallace. I’m going to do Lipsky a solid and assume there is more analysis of in the text that couldn’t translate to screen without a terrible voiceover. This movie will leave you with a few things: 1. Men really want to get laid with as little effort as possible, 2. It is easy to see how Wallace has become a dude-bro darling, and 3. Wallace suffered anxiety and depression and was not equipped to talk about it. This last one was the saving grace of the film for me.
  1. Seriously, so much of the movie was a long discussion between two men about how they would use their literary fame to have sex, but they didn’t want to feel sleazy about it. Because there is nothing sleazy about wanting to? I’ve hung with enough dudes to know, this isn’t untrue, and it was also a big joke in the movie. But there something sad about it. Wallace talking joking with Lipsky only to explain how meaningless sex leaves you feeling even lonelier than before, which is something Lipsky didn’t really get, and he’s kind of a dick through the whole thing, so he probably still doesn’t get it.
  2. David Foster Wallace is the patron writer for the dude-bro generation. Even in the film he says, his books are overwhelmingly enjoyed by young, over educated, white men. Man, I hope had he survived he’d be disappointed or actively seeking to correct this. But guys like this do love him. I think it is because these books speak to something that privileged people live with. Something hollow and sad, and I’d argue this thing is why those in privilege cling to it so much. Without it what am I? Without it am I anything at all? Or worst of all, without it, am I like everyone else? If I am not an exception to the rule than I am merely a demonstration, a personification of it. Wallace doesn’t attribute his success with young men to be about privilege, but instead that they are raised by media.
  3. David Foster Wallace killed himself. The only times in the movie when I was actually interested in what was happening was a. when he was talking about writing and b. when he was talking about his anxiety and depression. I suspect these two things are connected on several levels. Wallace openly admits, he received praise for his writing, and only for his writing, so when it felt like that was going to end he became very sad. He calls it a “less sophisticated diagnoses” is depression. This might link back to this perceived exceptionalism, other people have depression; that can’t possibly be what I have.
The big conflict in the film is Lipsky and Wallace’s jealousy over one another and frustrations with themselves. So Lipsky wants to be Wallace, and Wallace is jealous of Lipsky’s ease. Lipsky is the point of view character so he’s naturally more sympathetic even down to Segal towering over the actor. Lipsky fires back at Wallace telling him everything Wallace does and says is an act of regular guyness. That people don’t read thousand page books because the author is regular guy. Wallace of course prides himself on being a regular guy, and more so that he worries about being a fraud. So Lipsky who is clever and quick is flirting with Wallace’s ex Wallace feels very threatened. (Don’t worry the women in the movie never talk about anything outside of the men.) Wallace articulates a fear a lot of writers have, someone is going to figure out that I’m not good at this, because I’m not good at this.

Leaving the theater, I was disappointed in the movie. I was disappointed because Wallace wouldn’t have wanted to be a character to be played, because his family didn’t endorse the film, and in the end I didn’t feel like we learned anything. It felt like one of those your heroes will always disappoint you movies. 

Friday, August 21, 2015

Man, Jonathan Franzen is a critically acclaimed author.

It is like a bad joke, who is a well-known author with no self-awareness? You almost feel bad for the guy. Well, that passed. Let me begin by saying I like books, and I even like some of Franzen’s books. But he isn’t worth all the hype. Much like a lot of male authors, they’re good, better than me, but not super original or groundbreaking. I mean take The Corrections, a book that can be boiled down to a tale of a middle class family with a declining patriarch and the disappointment you find in others, and he’s not experimenting with form or language here. John Green’s Papertowns is about a young man projecting onto a girl something she can’t possibly be and thus being forced to grow up. You’ve read these stories before; we all have. This is the Western canon: man + decline or conflict (literal or metaphorical) / personal growth = Great American Novel. Man, I’m a genus. I have one story about a white male lead, and it deals with the ideas we hold about ourselves and others, and how you determine the truth if everyone is telling you different versions of the truth and no one is lying. Literally, a white guy learning about different people’s perspectives and recognizing their value. This will never be a great American novel.

But today is a day of Franzen. As reported by the Guardian, Franzen was considering adopting an Iraqi orphan to understand young people. Thankfully, his editor pointed out the problems with this. Which I imagine was just his editor writing colonialism and fetishism over and over again at Franzen in an aggressive manner. No, sir, you don’t adopt a child from a country your country has destroyed for research. YOU DON’T GET TO USE PEOPLE THAT WAY. Franzen is the Joe Biden of literature. He talks and talks, sometimes he does something right, but most of the time you’re yelling “FRANZEN!” at the top of your lungs shaking your fist in the air. I give Franzen a lot of room most of the time because he’s a writer, and they’re all weirdos with a lot of insecurities and usually self-loathing. However, there comes a point, and for me it was his terrible views on women writers (read about them here). Any man who says that about Edith should know they are on my shit list.

See Franzen is finding himself in that scary place a lot of men go when they think they are the victims:
“I’m not a sexist. I’m not somebody who goes around saying men are superior, or that male writers are superior. In fact, I really go out of my way to champion women’s work that I think is not getting enough attention. None of that is ever enough. Because a villain is needed. It’s like there’s no way to make myself not male.”
Ok, but for Franzen the canon is representative of the best work. It doesn’t matter it was determined by men for men in a time when women and people of color didn’t get attention they deserved. He is unable to see this. A great example of this is the novel itself, which was largely considered to be a feminine form, largely until the 18th century, which is when things change. Men began giving up the epic and moved into this form. On top of it all, he’s releasing a book called Purity which has a man hating feminist in it who emasculates her husband so much she makes him sit down to piss.
This is the best response to that:
I truly do think he lacks any self-awareness. That or he’s a master troll and this is all one big social experiment. 

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

I ghost people

Sometimes I do it because I can’t even with people. Sometimes I do it because I forget we’re “dating,” and sometimes I do it because I can’t be trusted not to beat the ever living hell out of someone. I’ve ghosted partners, friends, study groups, possibly even family. You name it. Ghosting is perfectly adaptable to my philosophy of if someone wants to see you they will make an effort because I’ll only chase anything for so long. Ghosting is just the opposite side of that. For a lot of people, I think they know what they did to get ghosted, and if they didn’t well that isn’t my problem.

Last week I ghosted a dude who I literally, not figuratively, just agreed to a drink and maybe a movie if things went well, which he took to mean he could send me a digital strip tease. I blocked him at three pictures when we hit taking off his pants. I ghosted a friend who I couldn’t tolerate his straight up misogyny with the added bonus that I made all our plans. It is really easy to ghost people when you are the planner. I just stopped making plans with this person, and by the time he realized (two-months after our last fight on the phone and last face to face), I was like sorry not taking your calls either. I don’t think you’re that invested in this relationship either. Look if I feel like the other person is invested then I’ll send a text or tell them why I’m not into it. In a perfect world that is what we’d all do.

But we don’t live in a perfect world; we live in a world where another woman was killed by a partner over the weekend, and one the scariest trailers before Straight Outta Compton was a movie about a woman being stalked by an abusive ex, which much to my surprise wasn’t a Tyler Perry movie. That shower scene man. We live in a world where men feel entitled to your time, energy, and body so no, I don’t feel like I have to walk them through a I’m not interested conversation. Tiny violin gentlemen. For me ghosting is, an escape clause. I don’t owe you an explanation for why I don’t want to see you. I owe myself peace of mind, which might mean I have to tell you why or might mean I’m going to deactivate every online account I have.